What to put as the reason for divorcing

[Leapardsandspots]

Does it matter these days, will it make one jot of difference?

What do people put and how much detail does one go into?

Married for 28 years, he had an affair, put our home in his name only, then sold it. We reconciled and invested in a joint business but tbh, I have not forgiven and suspect he's at it again with a new OW so intend to cut my losses.

Obviously the business (including land) will have to be sold as part of the divorce settlement but can I put he's a cheat, liar, abuser (including financially) and as a result I have Ptsd and feel too traumatised to continue to put up with his continuing bullshit/gaslighting/ stonewalling/ Darvo type behaviour?

I have lost all respect and have no doubt he'll play the innocent victim (very good at this as has all the traits of a covert narcissist). He will hire the shit hot lawyer he previously engaged and make life difficult so should I just put 'Adultery' or that 'the marriage has irrevocably broken down'? Do I need to elaborate?

Isn’t divorce ‘no fault’ these days (mine was despite him cheating) so there is no explanation required or given.

Yes it is no fault (changed just as we reconciled) yet somehow I thought one still had to expand on reasons but have looked online and its relatively straight forward to apply. Somehow I doubt the financial side will be.

Apologies, head all over the place tonight should have checked first before posting.

Sorry yours was a cheater too. Really stinks and stings it is considered 'no fault' with the amount of emotional damage and heartache all round that occurs.

Yes, I get it op. It stung to have to go ‘no fault’ given what he put me through (married 25 years). The financials are the hard bit really though (and mine was painful and very expensive). Just hang in there and get it done, let your lawyer handle it, and move on. I’m a few years down the road now and still healing but it gets better.

Don’t see it as stinging. “No fault” doesn’t mean that you’re acknowledging nobody is at fault for the problems which led to your marriage ending, it just means that simply not wanting to be married to each other anymore is now seen as a perfectly good enough reason in its own right to divorce. It means you no longer have to actually prove to the law that your reasons for not wanting to be married are “good enough.” The documents aren’t public record, it’s ultimately of no consequence what reason you give. “The marriage has irretrievably broken down” covers all bases.