He’s lying cheating and winning

[Argh1]

My stbx has been despicable in each every step.
He coerced me into to debt, some of which I managed to write off due to his abuse and lenders acknowledgment they did not have proper safeguards. That’s a win for him as he was liable for half.
In the meantime he is accumulating debt and saying I should be liable for half.

he took a job paying a third of what he did before and therefore can not pay almost anything for the kids who are with me most of the time.

he submitted an incomplete form E, and now not answering questions about a company he had for over ten years and is still running claiming he no longer owns it but providing no documents.

I got a new job earning what he does now (not what he did before!)

my lawyer told me it’s likely not financially worth my while to pursue all of this as the court will see as equal earners with equal needs (despite him not having kids as much, never buying clothes etc)

there are no assets but again he is refusing to answer about investments I know he made.

it almost feels like I would a. Be better off without a lawyer but pursuing those questions b. Getting punished for honesty and trying to provide for my kids (even though it’s not enough on my own) when we gets reward after reward for abuse, cheating and lying

Would love advice as after a call with my lawyer yesterday I lost all hope.

Your lawyer is right

youll spend far more £ perusing, than you’ll get back let alone the emotional time and energy

It might be worth using a forensic accountant.
Long term he won't be trustworthy with child maintenance so you need a bigger chunk of housing and assets from the outset.
You need a better lawyer too

You can find out about the company you think he owns by searching on Companies House website "Find a Company" function. You can either find the company and then check who its directors and shareholders are, or do a person search for him, which will reveal any companies of which he is a director.

To find out who the shareholders of the company are (ie who owns it, since being a director doesn't mean he necessarily owns shares, though many directors do), go to the Filing History tab of the company info and find the most recent "Confirmation statement with updates". This document will show who is the "Person with Significant Control" (ie majority shareholder) or alternatively, will list the shareholders and their holdings.

You can also access the company's last filed accounts to see whether it's got any money.

a lot of what you can do depends on your circumstances and how much can and are willing to spend.

Presumably the lawyer has more information than us and is giving you sound advice given the resources.

At various points through my split, I ran the numbers - what I stood to gain, what it was going to cost me to do that.

Finally after a couple of years, and a very small accommodation from his side towards what I was asking, I got to the point where continuing would cost me more than I would gain, and struck the deal (obviously with the fact in mind that he could just stop paying at any time, but also knowing that he was an idiot, with more money than sense, who would keep flinging barristers at me, and could spend 10x what I could (and probably did) and not even feel it.

So, have a look at the company and its accounts (small fee to purchase) - also search for him as a company director in general, see if there's other companies he owns, and do the sums. Is it worth the solicitor/barrister costs vs. what you could reasonably gain (best and worst scenarios)

Don't think of it as him winning/you losing. That's a hiding to nothing. Just see it as pure maths - grey rock to anything else.

I am not dealing with a normal person.
I wish it was as easy as companies house…

He supposedly gave the company to his partner and they have registered it in the US.
he won’t answer the questionnaire which includes questions about this despite agreeing to do so.

but the point is I know the company is running, I have evidence he is working for it and the mere fact he is not answering should be enough for a judge to see something is being hidden. If it was worthless he shouldn’t have had a problem.

This is just so frustrating and unfair not only on me but my poor kids. I can’t believe this is the court system here.

Abusers heaven!

If it's registered in the US, that does complicate things (believe me, I understand - mine had companies in a few different places)

It's still worth the companies house searches though - as if he's working from the UK, in order to pay himself (conventionally, obviously this might not be a conventional setup) he would need a UK entity to be registered for tax - plus who knows what you'll find. Directorship changes (eg to his partner) will be included, and you can get their company returns - it's all information for you.

You'd have to go state by state searching and even then it's hit and miss I find (I actually engaged a service to go and look for the details for mine in the Middle east). I'd start with places like Delaware.

Been through all of that, nothing in the UK.
it’s nothing conventional for sure. Maybe he is not being paid until it’s over , maybe it’s cash, anything is possible with this person.

He would do semi criminal things and beyond unfortunately.

They also might have registered it by any random name…

I feel powerless and so let down. The man is clearly hiding and lying. And nothing will be done unless I spend god knows how much money? How is that reasonable?
Rewarding abusive bad behaviour again and again.

This whole process is not fit for purpose.

Weird that you found nothing - Companies House has my dissolved company on it from a few years ago - there should be something if he's had a UK company.

Unfortunately, yes, either you, or someone you hire needs to do the running, at great time cost/expense.

Which is why it's worth sizing what it's likely to win you, whether it's worth it.

You should search by his name, his siblings/parents names, middle names etc.

I found the past company which he left it taters and didn’t even go through proper insolvency process, it doesn’t help me.
just another testament to his way of conduct

the company is alive and running…

seems like I should just give up 😔

I think but I don’t know that you are using the wrong language. The old company exists and hasn’t been given to anyone. If it is in debt or has no current assets then it’s worthless.

The question you need to ask is what happened to business assets. Many businesses have no physical assets, e.g. consultancies firms. Their value is in goodwill and as a going concern. If the business relied on his skills and contacts then it is worthless if he leaves and goes to work for his brothers business.

What value do you think was in the business and how do you think he gave it away. The old company hasn’t been given away because it still exists and is valueless.

Have you looked at the Wikivorce website? They offer free advice and so helpful. Good luck x

If Form E is incomplete, send questionnaire, if questionnaire incomplete, send deficiency questions / requests for missing docs. You can do this without a solicitor. If information and docs are still missing, pay for a solicitor's letter requesting the missing info and docs. If still missing and vital, apply for a court order to get the docs and info. You can do that yourself.
Has he disclosed pension values? Have you got CETVs for his pensions? Have you got a valuation of those pensions? An actuary report.
Many and most people are litigants on person - they don't have solicitors.
Some women do pursue Form E information, particularly pension values and this is worth while.