Talk me down from my existential pension crisis, please...

[itsakindahabit]

H and I separated end of last year. He is a high earner, I am self employed.

Pre kids we earned similarly, then I went down the SAHM (four years) part time route.

Now they're teens and I've finally faced up to my existential horror around my pension situation and had the drains up in everything.

I'm 45. Situation is:

• NI up to date, so on course for full state pension
• I have £8.5k in a private pension of my own :( I know this is crap, but I figure it's a start
• Defined benefit pension from a public sector job I had pre kids. This is worth 7k per year.

H doesn't actually have a particularly big pension pot himself (it's around 70k) so I think we'll probably break even as far as that goes...

My job is mentally taxing, but not remotely physical, and can be done on a p/t self employed basis well into my 60s/70s.

So, I'm trying to remind myself that I have 25 years to hammer money into my private pension.

Is anyone else in a similar situation re: pension?

I know it's not as bad as it could be, but right now it's what I wake up thinking about every morning :(

I’d say with a defined benefit pension of a guaranteed £7K a year (is this inflation-proofed, does it maintain its spending power?), plus state pension (currently £10.5K) you’re already well over the ‘minimum’ and not a million miles off the ‘comfortable’ standard according to the figures here: https://www.standardlife.co.uk/articles/article-page/how-much-do-i-need-to-retire

And you’ve got 22-25 years to go.

What will the housing situation be after you divorce? That’s often the biggest kicker to impact ability to save/invest.

£7k a year is probably more then the average plus state (£11,500) so £18,500pa.

I guess it depends on your expectations. Work backwards ie; you want £2500 a month. You already have around £1500 another £1000 will mean £12,000pa (excluding tax) that’s around £200k. That means with interest and stuff you probably need to save around £8k a year.

these are very rough figures. But I would say you’re in pretty good shape for now.

Any other assets? What is your housing situation?

As PP says your defined benefit pension puts you well above a lot of people already.

Thank you.

I am really not a high spender at all, never had fancy holidays (don't like going on holiday) my social life consists of dog walks with friends.

It's a civil service pension, I joined in 2006. There's a forecasted lump sum of either 20k tax free plus pension of 7k per year, or 40k tax free plus pension of 5,750 per year.

I have had my head in the sand re: pensions so don't know more than that.

Housing there's about 400k equity in this house, we're going to sell. Kids live with me 100% of the time and our split is amicable so we're looking at about 75/25 on the equity and leave each other's pensions alone.

300k round here would get a tiny 3 bed (fingers crossed)

Ah so you will have a fully owned property? Fab. Really, no need to panic.

Will you get child maintenance payments from him if they are living with you 100% of the time? Would hope so especially if he’s a high earner! I would press for fairly generous CM.

It's not just about the pension it's about your overall situation.

If you are in a position to have a fully-owned house, no matter how small, that's a very good start.

Once your kids go to uni and (hopefully) move out you can plan to downsize or move to a cheaper area and free up money.

I am hoping to own something fully, might have to get a small mortgage. My earning potential isn't great the moment as our DC have SEN, so although teens I work part time around them as there is no public transport to their schools.

I earned 25k last year and H earned 127k. Yes, he pays maintenance.

I think you're in pretty good shape tbh. Do you think you might be fixating on the pension as a way of processing this change? Because if so, you really will be ok. Sounds like you're doing a great job parenting and from now on it's just going to get a little bit easier and give you more choices as time goes on.

Yes, I'm definitely fixating on the pension, because I know I'm genuinely on my own now.

My parents are super-rich and I'm estranged from them and have no family at all, so it's a very lonely and vulnerable feeling position.

I just want to sincerely thank everyone who replied to this thread. I've made the mistake of reading MN pension threads on here recently, with people scaremongering about the size of their 'pots'.

Between that and the endless talk about never being a SAHM or working p/t because you'll be so vulnerable if you divorce it's really fed into my anxiety about being alone.

So, genuinely, thank you for the reassurance.

Remember to get Child Benefit if you stopped owing to partner's high income (of course you may have continued to receive it).
Being self-employed means no employer contribution into pensions, so you may find that ISAs are also worth looking at (more flex than with pensions if you need it).
Don't assume that a mentally taxing job will still be OK in your 60s/70s, or at least not at the same level.

Thanks, CB was reinstated last December. I'll look into ISAs, thanks for the tip.

While my job is mentally taxing it's up to me how many hours I do. Probably would look at doing about 10 per week post 60.