Mother’s Day

[Verysad1978]

Ex husband is gone since start January. Kids are c. 9 and 11.
He has them today on Mother’s Day. Not one word suggesting maybe I’d like to see them on the day. They’re coming back tonight. I didn’t want to say anything and make an issue.
Was I wrong expecting him to say they’d be back here for lunch to celebrate? Or anything

I think what you have found out is that if you don't say what you want then you won't get what you want or need.
I've had to be quite clear on what I'd like to happen on some days that have importance to one or both of us eg birthdays and if it's not my time with them, I'd have to compromise or change my thoughts.
Not easy I know x

Why didn’t you ask to have them? Worst he could have said is no.

Why didn't you ask? Why didn't you say - hey let's come to an agreement- they always spend fathers day with you and mothers day with me?

It's really hard and it will take you all time to adjust.

My ex volunteered to bring dd this year even though it was "his weekend" without me asking - but he is good at stuff like that. I think many men would not think of it.

How are you feeling and coping in general since the split? Take it easy on yourself - it's very recent.

Ok. Thank you for advice. And you’re right. I didn’t ask. I’ll know better next time.

Sorry you’ve not had the best day.

I have all this coming and tbh

Be kind to yourself. I was in the same position today and it stings x

Me too - ex’s weekend and not one mention of MD. I’ve learned my lesson from previous years and we celebrated one week early this year!!

Was it Mother's Day? Ex had my kids over the weekend, there was some mumbling on Friday that he needed to get them to sign a card and he'd drop it round sometime over the weekend. I realised on Wednesday when they were with me, they'd not got cards to leave for me for Sunday so resigned myself to being forgotten. Only one of the kids texted me yesterday. It hurts. And no fkn way am I sorting father's day cards for him this year.

I have a child arrangement order and the wise judge insisted Mother's Day with Mum and father's day with Dad.

It's the expected norm and I'm sorry you didn't feel at liberty to expect this.

Would it help to think of what you want your DC to learn about Mother's Day for themselves and their offspring? Sometimes it helps to think of it in third person like that.