Won’t communicate

[Amy993]

My husband left 9 months ago due to just feeling unhappy in the relationship. I was oblivious so it still hurts even now. We co parent but he doesn’t talk to me.. he has set days but at the doorstep doesn’t talk and won’t respond to calls or texts regarding the children. For the first few months after the split he made it seem like he would come home so i held on to hope. When I had to go through csa for maintenance he started to hate me. I miss my best friend and regret doing so… will he eventually stop being mad?

What do you call to talk to him about? I don’t see why you are calling him? Same with texts what is it you are texting him to ask?

Who knows if he'll ever stop being mad at you. However, over time you will move on and realise that

A. He's being childish
B. If you "had" to go through CMS, it's because he wasn't acting up as the dad he should be and paying his way.
C. You deserve better than being with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

Let him stay mad - you concentrate on moving on and being happy in yourself.

You don’t need to talk with him. You just need to be able to communicate for the benefit of any children in order to co parent.

Some people are so emotionally immature they can’t deal with their feelings or communicate like an adult. Your EX sounds like one of them.

My DH’s EW is the same. They’ve been divorced over 11 years & still she can’t look him in the eye or communicate with him. When she does it’s toxic & hostile. The children have picked up on this & it’s very sad as they now have to hide their feelings from her.

My advice would be to not lower your standards to his and always maintain the higher ground. Your children will thank you for it.

My ex was like this for about a year after he walked out. Wouldn't look me in the eye which infuriated me as the split was led by him - he just upped and left one day (we have young children). I found it very difficult as I really didn't think things were that bad in our marriage and we'd been together 2 decades - he was all I knew. I put it down to shame and embarrassment.

Things are better now. Ironically as soon as I stopped making any effort whatsoever to acknowledge him he all of a sudden decided to acknowledge me more!

Honestly finding it hard to understand why YOU aren't angry. He left you, refuses to speak to you about the kids, is angry that he has to pay for his kids... and you're still not hopping mad?

I'd be FURIOUS. Unless there's something you're not telling us that you have done, then there's no reason for this behaviour towards you whatsoever.

Usually pricks like this try to make you the villain so they don't have to feel guilty for leaving.