Please tell me about your child arrangement orders...

[WhatToDoAndSay]

I have a CAO which states DC return home 8pm on a school night.

Does anyone else have this? And if so, do you get met with requests to stay longer to finish a movie or the likes?

I wondered how prepared people are to agree to go against the CAO periodically or if it is considered a bit of a no-no.

Why would it be a no no if it’s what the children want and parents can agree?

and the best parents allow flexibility

Yes, agreed. I suppose unfortunately the kind of parents that get the CAO usually are the ones who haven't been able to find agreement .

The concern is more that boundaries aren't kept and the effort to push bedtimes later on school nights can be all part of the big picture of a power game I don't wish to play. For example, Mother's Day is set to be with me and yet because it's his weekend he's organised events for DC. Seems that if you give an inch he can take a mile sometimes which is why I wanted to know how rigidly other people end up having to be - or not.

DC tend to go along with anything and so sometimes they're an unfortunate pawn rather than exercising autonomy.

Yes can understand that

you don’t always have to agree and can say no but I’d always urge a little flexibility is good

how old are the children as that will bake difference

Can I check re Mother's Day, do you then provide an additional Sunday? I appreciate that it's Mother's Day, but if ex gets less time than you, I can understand why he might want the time with them.

And with the 8pm- does he also get overnights?

And agree with @millymollymoomoo a lot of this is dependent on the age of the children

But in response to your original post, we don't have an arrangement where anyone is returned to the other persons house. It is all drop off at school directly and collection from school. This has worked better for us, as his time is his time with our dc and vice versa without someone else clock watching, or us having to stifle our plans when we have dc.

However we are incredibly flexible with each other. If either of us has holidays, work, evening dos, we roll with it and always say yes if we can. The flexibility hasn't always been easy, but it has paid dividends in our relationship as co parents.