Apply for decree absolute or wait for mediation about financial settlement to complete?

[TrickyExHelp]

Hi - your advice would be appreciated!

Just checked and my decree nisi was issued last April. The document says that I need to apply for the decree absolute within 12 months which is less than a month away now.

My ex and are are due to start mediation at the end of this month to agree the financial settlement (delay caused by organising CAO first). I’m worried that if we go over the 12 months deadline for the decree nisi, we’ll have to pay to restart the divorce process over again.

As we’re about to start deciding on the finances anyway, should I just go ahead and apply for the decree absolute now? I’m aware that I’ll lose out an automatic inheritance and his pension rights if he dies before the financial settlement is agreed, but as this is unlikely to happen (unless he has a tragic accident...), are there any other downfalls of finalising the divorce now?

Thanks

You don’t have to start again. You just make your application for the Absolute “out of time” and file a statement setting out the reason for the delay. And sorting finances is a perfectly legitimate and valid reason.

My understanding is that you should have a financial consent order in place prior to applying for DA/Final order of Divorce to protect your finances. Yes the out of time statement is v straight forward

Thanks for your responses. Just to double-check though, is the only detriment for me finalising the divorce now is that I won’t get automatic inheritance/pension rights if he dies before the financial settlement is done. If so, I’d prefer to just divorce him now to get it done. He’s not particularly reasonable and the financial settlement discussions are likely to drag on and possibly end up in court…

I don't think that would be the only risk, no.

Once you have the Decree Absolute you are divorced. Which means you're then agreeing finances as an unmarried couple. This is likely, assuming more assets/pension is held in his name and/or children going to reside with you most of the time, going to leave you at a massive disadvantage.

You got married partly to protect your finances in the event of a split. Don't remove the benefits of marriage just as you're wanting to use them!

Thanks @HappyAsASandboy .

Can someone confirm if this is correct though? Besides the ‘dying thing’, I thought that getting the finances sorted before finalising a divorce was done to protect each party from unexpected financial claims in the future. It was my understanding then that all our assets will be claimable as part of a financial settlement into the future after the divorce was finalised. The warnings that I’ve heard so far about the importance of settling finances before divorcing have had an emphasis on doing it to protect myself from future claims that he might make against me. For us, we would be discussing the finances in mediation directly after the finalisation of divorce so the ‘unexpected surprise’ element isn’t a factor.

From my understanding if you divorce before the clean break order that if you buy a house but he fritters his money away he can claim 50/50 of that house. Any savings in those years in-between will also be 50/50. You cannot budget for your future as he will have claims on anything you try to do. If you win the lottery you would have to share. Not worth it especially if you can just sign a statement for the absolute.

EDIT - you are saying you are in mediation right now, but finances can take YEARS to conclude. It's been one year already and you haven't even started so why do you think it will be done and dusted very quickly?

Is there a reason for needing the Final Order now?

Wait!!
I waited and now I'm so glad that I did, my ex died and I was then eligible for many things that I wouldn't have otherwise been eligible for.

Posted in error

I just want to be divorced. Started the process in early 2022 and there’s been delay after delay (which is why we’re still in the decree nisi/decree absolute system). He’s going to drag his heels with the finances and, psychologically, I want to be severed from him.

Can you tell me how you made that happen 😉? Doubt I’ll be as ‘fortunate’… 😉!

… but surely this would be the case anyway if I waited for years to complete the finances before getting a divorce..?

I apologise if it seems as though I’m not listening to the advice that you’ve very kindly been sending. However, I’m still yet to hear of a sound reason as to why I can’t finalise my divorce now (apart from the disadvantages if my ex dies before the finances are complete). Does anyone had a strong and solid reason why I can’t just get divorced now?

Marriage is a financial and legal contract which protects the more disadvantaged partner (usually the woman due to pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing). Divorce breaks that contract so the more disadvantaged partner is no longer protected.

I suggest you speak to your solicitor if you require explicit reasons.

I got my decree absolute before the financial order was signed, the order wasn't done until 4 months later, we had agreed who was getting what but didn't sign the order until the May after the decree absolutely was issued in January.

Thanks @Nat6999 - thanks really helpful. Do you know if there would have been any negative effects if one of you had decided to change the financial agreement after you divorce was finalised in January?

… but the finances are still ‘up for grabs’ even after divorces are finalised which is why people are advised that they must sever finances with a financial agreement before getting divorced. I would not be at any disadvantage with the financial settlement if I get divorced now (apart from if he dies before the settlement is complete).

Just going through this process now. As I understand it, there are certain funds (like pensions) that can only be transferred between spouses. Therefore, if either of you has a claim to some of the other's pension, you will lose your access once the decree absolute is granted.

Please wait. If your divorce goes through before the consent order, the pensions cannot be divided (if that is the plan). A pension is a huge part of the finances- don't overlook it, unless you're the one with the bigger one!

Thanks @Sandia1 and @YorkBound but the info about pensions is not correct. Pension claims can be made after a couple has divorced. https://www.lawson-west.co.uk/for-people/services/divorce-and-family/articles/divorce-clean-break-orders-can-stop-a-future-claim-for-pension-or-wealth

Should also say that my ex and I work full time and have done since we finished uni (we met at uni). Therefore, our pensions are likely to be roughly comparable and so there wouldn’t be much to claim either way.

As I haven’t heard anything too detrimental about divorcing before arranging the financial settlement (besides if my ex dies), I’m just going to go ahead and apply for my decree absolute. Thanks everyone.

@TrickyExHelp I've asked this question before and although many say "don't do it" there seems to be no obvious reason other than what you have said.

I have been separated years, started divorce last year. Got the conditional order abd now ex is fucking about for want of a better phrase. We jointly own the house. I have a small (tiny) pension. That's it. I really really REALLY want the final order. Also no more money for solicitors..

Can I ask, why do you keep on saying 'if he dies...'? It's in almost every post. Is he unwell?