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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Mid week contact

8 replies

Fatatforty · 02/03/2024 22:59

My ex insists on mid week contact overnight on a Wednesday each week. I find it quite hard to manage some weeks. Eg next week is mufti day on the Thursday, DD wants to stay home so I can do her hair in the morning. I’ve said her sister can do it but older sister has said no as dad lives further from the school so there won’t be time as they leave the house early. Also it means on the Wednesday after work I will need to come home to be in for them to collect the mufti clothes instead of going swimming which is my weekly exercise, then somehow get the school uniform back on the Thursday. It all seems such a pain. Am I being unreasonable? I had asked ex to have every other weekend but he wanted two weeknights, so as a compromise he does Friday-Sunday once a month, then a saturday afternoon until Sunday afternoon once a month. Then every Wednesday to sleep over. On Thursdays when I pick them up from school they are tired as they share a room and have a bunk bed at his and keep each other awake. He has 4 spare bedrooms but apparently the new girlfriend said they have to share! Same on the Sunday afternoon they always come back tired and in a bad mood. Surely there must be an easier way? Or is this just life as a seperated parent? DC are aged 10 and 14.

OP posts:
sunlovingcriminal · 02/03/2024 23:05

You really need to just roll with it I'm afraid.

Mid week contact isn't unusual and he has a right for regular time with them too.

Not ideal for them to share a room, but that is for them as a household to navigate.

FlippyFloppyShoe · 02/03/2024 23:05

Bit confused why you have to collect the mufti clothes on a weds, that doesn't make sense, just send two sets of clothes (1 mufti, 1 uniform), one of which will be worn whilst the other is in the bag??
Yes it's annoying when your ex is a lax parent and yes you just have to put up with it and be mindful of it when you have your children. It's shit, but apparently it's 'fair' and in the dcs best interests 🙄

TheMushroomFamily · 02/03/2024 23:07

Oh come on how often does that day come up?! Can’t think of the last time my kids had a no school uniform day, certainly haven’t had any this school year. Not enough reason to stop it no.

FlippyFloppyShoe · 02/03/2024 23:09

Ps be glad you only have 1 year? left of your youngest in primary where every other week seems to involve some kind of organisational juggling act like mufti

Fatatforty · 02/03/2024 23:19

Yes it’s true primary is a pain with all the non uniform days and “events”. Secondary has its own problems with homework and carrying around two days worth of school books. I hate seeing the DC so tired and grumpy but it’s what fits in with his working hours

OP posts:
FlippyFloppyShoe · 02/03/2024 23:31

@Fatatforty does your secondary not have lockers that your DD could leave books etc they don't need that evening in?

Fatatforty · 02/03/2024 23:35

Yes they do but for some reason she won’t use the locker. Just lugs everything around. I’ll have to have a chat with her to see what the issue is with the lockers, I’ve asked before but she just said she won’t use one. I stopped paying for it in the end

OP posts:
Chocolateorange11 · 04/03/2024 08:30

DP has uniform here for both of his. Ditto non uniform. If they want to wear something specific for a non uniform day then they just stick it in their school bag.

i have a key lock at my house and my two would just pop round for anything they need or I do drop off if needs be. Not there fault they live across two houses…

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