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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Cafcass and custody - addiction

3 replies

Lucyloo42 · 28/02/2024 13:16

Does anyone have any advice or experience please.
I had to leave my EH over a year ago with our two young children after 2 years of dependency to cocaine. He financially sank us, left me alone with the children for days at a time , not knowing where he was or when he would return , he stopped attending work and there were incidents of DV and the usual deceit that goes the evil drug.
we left , split and sorted all what was in the marital pot.
late last year and more DV incidents involving me on the handovers his use spilling over into the children’s visits and other solid evidence he was using and affecting the children on visits ( his own mother saying he can’t cope with children ) I stopped visits for safeguarding reasons . Since that he has refused to sign the clean break and Filed for form E trying to get £100k from me in total . Then he files C100 which is fine as I can’t do the handovers for the children so I’m welcoming the courts / Cafcass to arrange this but obvs he needs to be clean to have them aswell - but I’ve found out he’s gone for 50/50 custody . I’m shook because he couldn’t manage two days when he did have them due to his withdrawal symptoms and lying that he wasn’t using when they were with him . He’s been telling everyone he’s clean since the end of last year . I’m so scared they are going to let our children go to a farce of a scene because I’m certain he’s not clean - the signs still remain , Will Cafcass do it’s work and see this - he can’t keep to regular phone contact with them never mind a full time parent .
any words of advice appreciated I’m so scared for my babies x

OP posts:
Pickles2023 · 28/02/2024 15:32

State the safeguarding on drug use to court/cafcass. They can order hair strand drug test. It will be positive. Then I'm not sure what they suggest or order but it will be confirmed to court and in judge hands. You would of done all you can and evidenced such.

Good luck, in these situations court is the only way. Cocaine around kids can be lethal for many reasons :(

SpringCalling · 28/02/2024 16:38

I found Cafcass switched on and helpful. Yes to getting drug testing. my court order called for testing to continue for 2 years to ensure he remained clean. Which TBF he did, so we have now moved to 50/50. If your ex is not able up come off the cocaine then he won't be getting 50/50.

Lucyloo42 · 01/03/2024 12:09

Thank you for your comments , spring calling this is what I hope for - your scenario , kids need their daddy but functional and clean , I’m not opposed to access / custody at all but they need to be safe and cared for on his time and I need taking out of the equation for my safety and sanity , I can’t keep babysitting him and his issues .

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