Not a penny to my name

[Cryingemoji]

Hi all, I'm desperate for some advice please.
It's been about a month since my h announced he was leaving. We have 2 grown up children & 1 of school age.
He's currently still here and looking for places to rent, but we are on a low income and he's struggling to find something. I don't work currently and my h pays for everything from his wages. We are in a rented property.
As the title says I don't have a penny to my name & together we have significant debt.
The tension in the home is unbearable, sitting in different rooms, silent treatment, hurtful digs etc.
I'm torn between wanting him to go right now, to dragging things out so that the bills get paid.

How on earth can we navigate this situation.
I'd be so so grateful for any advice. Thank you.

Can you get a job? It will get you out of the house, for a start, and you’ll be earning the money you need. The thing is, he’s not going to give you any money, and he’s no longer going to be paying for everything. Even if he had money, he has no reason and no obligation to give you any, so you do need to generate your own income one way or another.

Is there a reason you don’t work? That seems the obvious answer unless there’s a good reason such as health you don’t.

Who has the debt? Him ? You? Or joint debt?

If you have debt in your name get help from CAB or a debt charity. They will ask about joint debt but debts in his sole name are his concern.

Have you started applying for jobs? As PP says, it gets you out the house for starters.

Even if you are still living in the same property, it is possible for you to apply for Universal Credit if you’re not able to get a job.

Start by checking what benefits you will be able to claim, entitledto.co.uk is a good place to start. Also check the child maintenance calculator.

Do the adult dc live with you?

The obvious answer is start looking for a job to support you and the school aged dc, benefits until you find one and potentially ongoing depending on your income.

Start getting yourself in a position to support you and the dc now, if H moves out soon or suddenly you will need to be prepared.

You need to get an income from working. Seek advice on getting your CV up to date and start applying for jobs. Your DH will be obligated to assist in some of the costs of your DC still in education but nobody is obliged to pay for your upkeep.
Look at ways to reduce costs, switch suppliers stop unnecessary subscriptions etc.
Go to your local Citizens Advice or other support groups to see what help is available.

Thank you so much for the replies.

Getting a job is definitely the priority. I have an application in currently and I'm waiting to here back. Probably not wise to put all my eggs in one basket, but I haven't seen anything else just now.

My track record with work unfortunately isn't great. I've got 3 jobs since we moved here less than 2 years ago and haven't been able to stick at any of them. I have had mental health issues for 20 years, particularly anxiety which makes it exceptionally difficult. But I know I have to make it work this time.

Yes, one of my older children lives with me currently & can contribute a small amount each month although they are close to moving out with their boyfriend.

He says that the debt is joint. I think at least some of it is just in his name but I'm ashamed to say I don't know.

The child support won't go far though as he's a low earner, I'd start looking either for work or for what you can claim as a single mum if you can't work. I don't know how you could hurry him out really as he has a right to stay I think but you need your ducks in a row for how you'll afford the bills.

While you are applying for Jobs, get in an application for benefits.

www.gov.uk/universal-credit

You can do an Experian check online which will show what debt is in your name and what is joint. I don't think it will show you his debts though.

It's worth finding out and contacting a debt charity such as Christians against Poverty - they do wonderful work

Also go on to one of the calculators such as entitledto to see if you can get help for now

Would it be worth signing up to an employment agency & temping whilst you find something permanent?

There is medication for anxiety. Not a perfect solution but a solution.
You need to find work asap

No, it's not always a solution. For many but not all. Don't over-simplify.

You need to apply for more than one job. Apply for anything and everything. Apply for job seekers. See the doctor re your anxiety.

How much debt are you talking about? And I’m assuming if you rent you have no significant assets?

It’s probably worth looking on the moneysavingexpert forums as they’re better for financial advice, but with no assets and significant debts, bankruptcy could give you a clean slate.

You need to sign up to universal credit today and then start looking at jobs, as well as completing the paperwork to actually get divorced.

Thanks for your reply.

I've been on medication for many years & have recently increased dosage after failing at yet another job.

Are you claiming all the benefits you're entitled to
Could you find casual work until you find a permanent job
Have you applied for any smaller properties

Thanks for replying.

I'm not currently on receipt of any benefits other than child benefit.

In the short term at least I should be able to stay in the property with help from family, but I do need to find a job asap.

I am looking every day, but I'm finding very little that I could actually do. After years of being a stay at home mum I have very little to offer.

I would look at the benefit calculator to see what you can claim, what interests do you have that will help you find a job, you will have something to offer, what happened with the other jobs.

You can see if you're entitled to universal credit and job seekers allowance, council tax reduction, fuel payments.

@TraitorsGate I'm ashamed to say the other jobs I was only in for a very short time before being signed off with my anxiety & depression & not returning. I don't honestly know if I can work but I have to, I know it's the only way.

I've been looking into what I might be able to claim, but it doesn't sound like a lot. At the moment h is now saying that I can have his pension money each month (he's already in receipt of a private pension). Which will in turn affect what I can claim. But how do I know he'll even keep his word, can I make him put it in writing? I can't afford a solicitor.