How do I find the energy to end things?

[Esselvee]

I’ll try and keep it brief.

21 years together. Mortage, 2 dc now teens. Both with medical needs.

I’m the main breadwinner, freelance in very stressful industry. Insanely long hours but breaks in between. Have paid 100% of the bills, he has had various part time jobs for pocket money. Has done more child care (not my choice but out of necessity) and housework over the years.

Since the children both became ill he has not attended a single medical appointment. He does not get involved in their school admin. One child often requires over night care, which is always down to me.

He likely has ASD and drinks every day. I get constantly moaned and ranted at for not cleaning the house enough and for sleeping too much.

i am exhausted, physically and emotionally and I have had enough.

But I simply don’t know how I fond the energy to end things. Or how I cope financially with a seperation.

We are not married, but his name is on the deeds of the house.

Any practical advise or words of support would be appreciated.

I think you need to try and take a few days from work, go and see a solicitor and take advice on what would happen, how the finances might work and what the process is. Once you understand that, you can make a calm and measured decision and put in place the things you need to do to move forward in a better way. Knowledge and planning will make you feel calmer and more resolute.