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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Mortgage

44 replies

Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 11:11

My ex left before Christmas. I've said I would pay mortgage for now in full as he left. He just needs to ring lender and authorise it. We have 50 50 share. He won't let me. So I said I would pay my half. He won't ring and authorise it. He wants me to put it in into his bank. He's already threatened to stop paying it twice. I am right in thinking I don't have to put it into his bank aren't I?

OP posts:
PutMyFootIn · 20/02/2024 11:15

Ex-what?

Well you kind of do have to pay it to him. Thats what he's saying. Do you trust him to pass it on to the mortgage company though? How is it currently paid?

The alternative is to have the mortgage officially put into your name and buy him out. - Have you talked about this? What are your long term plans for the property.

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 11:38

Ex partner. We wernt married. He used to pay that and other bills then i had some bills to pay and would pay for things for the house, dogs etc. I don't mind paying it, but it seems stupid to give him the money when he's already said he won't pay it twice and would rather we got blacklisted. We have a baby together that he isn't paying a penny for. He's paying for nothing. He just needs to pay half the mortgage, half his life insurance and half the house insurance. He's left me to pay for everything else. Like the sofa which we went halfs on and is in his name. Lon term the house will more than likely need to be sold. I'm on maternity still. He makes enough money to rent, not that he needs to as he's living with the other woman and her kids. I can't increase hours or look into renting yet. I have a mortage, on maternity and half the wage he has. He doesn't care where is child ends up. Just wants the money from the house. He thinks 15k will buy me and the baby "a nice little house". In this day and age I'd be lucky to get a shed for that.

OP posts:
Lazydomestic · 20/02/2024 11:43

Does your mortgage allow overpayment? In which case you can over pay your 50% by 50% & avoid arrears

PutMyFootIn · 20/02/2024 11:54

If he's not going to pay the mortgage then definitely don't give him any money.

Go through CMS for child maintenance. I'm not sure what to suggest really it must be really stressful for you, especially at a time when you most need support

Spirallingdownwards · 20/02/2024 11:57

Hell no don't give him money. If ot is a joint mortgage you can speak to the mortgage company yourself and ask to pay half the payment yourself direct to them.

Start a CMS claim for maintenance ASAP.

NotDavidTennant · 20/02/2024 12:11

Whose name is the mortgage in?

Sodndashitall · 20/02/2024 12:51

Have you called the mortgage company to explain ? I think it's a good idea as I am sure they can advise on what your options are

LemonTT · 20/02/2024 14:32

If you both own the house jointly and this is documented then it doesn’t matter who pays the mortgage. Ownership won’t change unless you both agree to vary it. Why is he threatening not to pay the mortgage? Is this a credible threat?

Given his behaviour it is time to formalise the post split arrangements. Which would ideally involve disposing of joint assets so you aren’t financially tied anymore and dependent on his whimsy when it comes to paying for a roof over your head.

It’s better to every right so it is once and done. A lot of halfway house arrangements fall apart and eventually you need to sort things out properly.

I would claim CMS. I would get a lawyer to act in relation to the housing arrangements. Ideally buy him out or sell and take control of your own asset. However if there isn’t a lot of equity then even if you aren’t married you could apply to stay there until it can be sold. This won’t increase your ownership and you will have to pay the mortgage (your lawyer can get orders to put this in place). You can also get interim orders to put paid to his fuckwittage.

Tell him you are applying for CMS. Then see a lawyer to sort out the temporary arrangements for the house and the long term options. Then tell him this is what you have done in order to ensure you have a home for the children.

PossumintheHouse · 20/02/2024 14:37

As above poster said, if you jointly own the property it doesn’t matter one bit who pays the mortgage. The sum just has to get paid. There’s no need for you to send any money to his bank account.

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 16:53

Am I not obliged legally to pay half the mortage? I have offered to pay it in full until i can get sorted with baby and back to work and what not. He doesn't want that. He wants me out and money from it ASAP. I don't have anywhere else to go at the minute and a small baby who is my priority. He's trying to get it to court to force a sale. There'll only be about 16-18k realistically. Would the court think that was good equity to get another house?

OP posts:
exDHisatwat · 20/02/2024 17:20

Is the mortgage joint? If you're named on it just contact the bank and set up a direct debit, either for the full amount (if you think he won't pay his half) or just yours. He can't stop you doing this.

I'm married (separated) and not on our mortgage. Whilst the bank can't discuss the account with me they did say anyone can make a payment to the account. So if my ex was to stop paying I could make the payments instead.

exDHisatwat · 20/02/2024 17:23

A friend of mine had to go to court to force the sale of his old house as his ex would not co operate. It's taken years and cost over £50k, there was only approx £100k equity to start with so after costs etc. he's walked away with around £20k. Can you afford to buy him out?

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 17:43

Not ay the minute. I could afford to buy him out but because I'm on maternity still and work part time I won't be allowed to be on the mortgage myself at the minute.

OP posts:
Farwell · 20/02/2024 18:04

In your first post you say it is 50:50. In your last, it says you aren't allowed on the mortgage. Which is it? The two scenarios put you in very different positions as to how quickly he can force a sale.

How quickly can you get back to work? And have you started a child maintenance case?

PutMyFootIn · 20/02/2024 18:09

There'll only be about 16-18k realistically. Would the court think that was good equity to get another house?

I think you're getting confused with splitting up with your partner and getting a divorce. Splitting up with your partner, selling the house you own 50/50 and getting 16k equity means that you'd get 8k each.

StedeBonnet · 20/02/2024 18:12

Is your name actually on the mortgage?

If so call them yourself and arrange to pay them directly if he isn't paying or you'll end up in arrears. If he's insisting on selling and taking his share of the equity you'll need to do that if you can't currently buy him out of his share.

StedeBonnet · 20/02/2024 18:15

Speak to the mortgage company though, if you're on maternity leave they'll likely assess affordability on your usual salary assuming you're returning to the same role after your leave.

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 18:42

We both own it 50-50. The payment comes out of his bank. The lender won't take payment from me unless he says its OK. Which he won't. They'll only do it if they take the full amount from both banks. Then it's adding a payment on not changing the way it is at the minute. No the house value and the outstanding mortage leaves about 40k. Then that'll be split minus costs.

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exDHisatwat · 20/02/2024 19:07

@Newnamedisguise

Are you on the deeds? You said the house is 50/50 but other posts make it sound like you're not on the mortgage? If you're on the deeds but not the mortgage that's fine, if you're on neither then you're potentially not legally entitled to any of the equity.

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 19:31

Deeds and mortgage I'm on

OP posts:
LemonTT · 20/02/2024 19:40

Let him pay it. But in the meantime, claim CMS. Then see a lawyer about securing the home for the near future and about getting approval to stay in the house. There isn’t enough equity for you two move out and provide a home for you and the child.

The Childrens Act is your friend here. Ignore people who tell you that you must move out because you aren’t married and there is no recourse. The childrens act means a court can order that the house sale is deferred. But you will have to take over the mortgage and give him his 50% share when it is sold.

SuperGreens · 20/02/2024 19:44

If I were you I would pay nothing to the mortgage, nothing to him, nothing directly. Completely stonewall him, change the locks, dont respond to any calls or messages and start putting as much as you can away in savings. It will take him years to legally evict you and force a sale. In the meantime you will have put enough away to rent a place for you and baby, possibly even get priority on a council house as you will be homeless with a baby. There is very very little he can do about this and everything he does will take a very long time. Enjoy the satisfaction of how incredibly frustrating this will be to him. And make sure you apply for child maintenance as well.

Residentevil · 20/02/2024 19:48

If you both own the house and are both named on the mortgage, surely you can contact the mortgage provider and change the direct debit to your own bank account ? Explain the situation, how he is behaving and tell them that there is a high risk of the mortgage payments not being made now he has moved out. I’d even ask if your mortgage allows a payment holiday ( usually three months) given the current circumstances and you being on maternity leave. Talk to your mortgage provider asap ( and a solicitor - the sooner you can detangle yourself from him financially the better).

Attictroll · 20/02/2024 19:50

Arrange an appointment with the mortgage company asap but have your maths done and even work out if another lender would offer you the full mortgage amount plus the any monies you would need to buy him out. Would they or any bank offer you a mortgage on your salary for the whole amount on current mortgage. You can arrange to pay him any equity gained over time. Work out how much the value of the property has changed since you bought it and divide it in half. Ensure you have a paper trail of when you start paying in full as he should not be entitled to any equity from that point and if I came to a sale you need that acknowledged too.
Get the house valued either on line or via an estate agent soon to help you do the maths.

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 20/02/2024 21:12

He payed the mortgage in full since we bought the house. I've told the lender about what's happening and there's othing they can do. They won't take payment from me unless he says its OK. My solicitor says to pay him the money from now either way as it shows I have an interest in the property. I havnt payed anything towards mortgage since we bought it as I payed for other things like the kitchen. Which is in his name bit I send him money for that and half the sofa. They won't entertain me on the motgage myself. Even though I can afford it. To them I'm to much of a risk. Even though they wouldn't lose money as the house had increased in value.

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