C79 enforcement

[Mnbvcxzlkhgfds]

Hello

Can I do a C79 to make my ex take his responsibilities more seriously? Or if not C79 is there anything else that can be done

Moving on from another thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/5008613-ex-not-having-children-when-co-ssays?reply=133049386

So I’ve seen my ex today after he dropped of the kids things. He should have had the children from Friday afternoon until this Morning as per the CAO (EOW time). On Wednesday he told me he was “busy” on Saturday and would get them on Sunday morning. I was unhappy about this, he came for them at 10.30pm on Saturday night. I’ve told him this morning that that cannot happen again and that because of the CAO HE wanted, he should not be making himself busy in the time it says he should have them and should prioritse the children. He said he’s allowed to not come (there is a clause that says if he doesn’t come then on a Sunday the maternal grandparents should see the children). He said whatever he had planned could not be changed - I disagree. He clearly hasn’t had a surgical procedure and I can’t see what other urgent appointments one could have on a Saturday that cannot be rescheduled to a weekday. I feel he may have had a driving test but he wouldn’t disclose and I hope the children may mention this. I also told him that he should be taking responsibility and showing the kids that he is reliable. He was still dismissive and patronising. I hope my doorbell can has picked it up. Also having ditched his weekend and expected me to take care care of the children, he never even showed the courtesy to thank me for covering him or apologising to me for not being there. My kids weren’t keen at all to see him and then he’s not keeping routine or helping build the bond between them by being reliable and accountable. It’s frustrating!

The unfairness of this is just winding me up. If I were “too busy” and didn’t show up for kids when it was my time according to the CAO - There’d be no one to do this as he doesn’t live nearby so I’d have to pay a professional childcare for provision or cancel my plans or if I wasn’t there, I’d get done for neglect, wouldn’t I? I’m sure if I didn’t send the kids to him when it’s his time, he would do a C79 court enforcement on me. Could I threaten him with this as he is not showing up when he should? It’s the second time and the CAO has only been in place since November and I’m keen to nip it in the bud. Asking for advice here before I phone my solicitor and start racking up another huge bill…

Sorry op
its shit
but they won’t force him to have your child if he doesn’t can’t to

Hi OP

Unfortunately a court order cannot be enforced with respect to the father not turning up for contact when he is supposed to under the CAO as it is not considered a breach of court order. However, a court would take a very dim view of this and there is the possibility that his contact would be reduced.

What you could do though is think about applying to vary the CAO if he is not currently making the most of the offered contact. Keep a diary of the dates he has missed and the reasons given. Try to keep everything in text message or email so you have the evidence to show the court if you decide to go down that route. This application would be made on form C100 but you would need to attend an MIAM first to show you have at least considered mediation.

I would also suggest giving it a bit longer and monitoring the situation to see if a pattern emerges. Your position will be a lot stronger if you can demonstrate it is a regular occurrence and not in your children's best interests to be continuously let down.

Also perhaps contact cms and reduce his nights to increase his payments?

Thank you! You don’t need to do a MIAM with a C100 because I spent ages asking to do mediation and he did a C100 and refused to do mediation. He gets this court order and doesn’t turn up! I’ll keep a diary though. Third time it’s happened. He’s only EOW and holidays and my solicitor said court probably couldn’t give him any less contact.

How is it fair that you can let your kids down and there be no consequence when there’s a CAO?

@Mnbvcxzlkhgfds

Hi again,

If you haven't attended an MIAM in the last 4 months, then it would be something you would have to do before applying to vary the CAO unless you had an exemption, such as DV etc.

I believe that if it gets into a regular pattern of him not turning up, then you could perhaps ask for 1 weekend per month and some holidays. Your solicitor will know the situation more in depth though.

I agree with you, it's not fair to the children who get all prepared, only to be let down. It also puts your weekend on hold because you have to make them available but then also have no idea whether he is going to turn up.