Any reassurance on divorce with a young child?

[BrickGoose]

For context, myself and my husband had a bit of a whirlwind story. We met and I got pregnant (our contraception failed) on our third date. I was already thinking about becoming a mum and I was delighted. Our gorgeous girl was born August 2022.
We got married in part because he is from Europe and needed a spouse visa to come and live with us in the UK. Part of me believed that this could be a magical story, quick but maybe we would just be great and have a lovely family and a great story to tell the grandkids.
It has become quite clear to me that we are not right for each other. I don't feel loved and I can feel that I'm done with the relationship. He wants to make it work but doesn't really want to put in the work that requires.
I'm a child of divorced parents, it was ok but not what I wanted for my child. But I also know that I can't have her growing up with a miserable mum, which is what I am.
Any reassurance on separating? I'm terrified to be honest. I don't want to hurt him, don't want to destroy our family, I feel guilty that he left his whole life and moved here, but I also don't want to be trapped in something that doesn't feel right out of guilt. He's an adult man and has the ability to rebuild his life. It will get complicated with custody as I would never take his child away from him or ask him to leave the country, but he never made much of an effort to build a life here (never got a job, didn't join any clubs, didn't make any friends).
I'm rambling, I guess I'm just looking for people with similar experiences who made it to the other side and have something good to say.

What job did he have before he left his country?

I think, given your DD's age, it won't affect her as greatly as if she were older. She won't really understand the situation and grow to adjust quicker than if she were older and can really feel the difference if that makes sense

Your daughter will be fine and adjust.

As he is on a spousal visa will he need to leave the country if you divorce? I'm not sure how they work

He worked on a market stall for 20 years as it was a family business. It was a tough job and part of coming here was an opportunity to see what else he might want to do in life. He has done a lot of childcare as I went back to work quite early. I thought he might do some online education or look into things but.....he didn't. I feel this anxiety that when he does get a job he's going to hate it and it will make life even more tense. I'm really ambitious and love work and I find it hard to be with someone who's not really interested or passionate about anything.

He can reapply as her dad. I would do anything needed if he wanted to stay in the country, including staying married and living together but separating romantically (partially because I want them to have a solid relationship but also because I need childcare). If he moves back to Europe we would have to figure something out but it would be very expensive to move her back and forth! And she's really too young for that. His currently visa runs out end of 2025.

Have you actively encouraged him to train or find a job? It seems you're tip toeing around the issue. I'm just getting this impression from you mentioning your worry about him getting a job and disliking it. But so what if he dislikes it? You do what you need to do in the short term and try to make things better in the long term. He might need a little encouragement initially. Maybe it's daunting having started a whole new life in a different country. He might feel comfortable in his bubble.

How much of a conversation have you had about this?