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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Finances/housing/vehicle - wwyd

3 replies

WhyWhyY · 13/02/2024 11:03

Hi everyone

Lookijg for advice.
I am going to leave my partner of 15years and father to my children.

I have heavily relied on him through bringing my children up and, tale as old as time, I haven’t got a lot of money of my own. Although I do refer to him as husband sometimes (ultimately I feel like a pr@ for having a 15 year term “boyfriend”) that’s all he is.

I do work and I have a low-mid salary of £25000 and excellent credit. I only have £7000 saved.

ill also need to buy a car but I suppose that could be financed to protect the money I have saved.

what would you do? Things are not abusive or horrendous at home so I don’t need to jump into this next week - please read my thread if you like some background

I worry if I rent that money will be gone and once I’m in that trap I’ll struggle to ever get a mortgage again. I’m also 40ish so this is the last chance to get a mortgage I’m sure.

but if I do that, it will mean staying for longer which just feels really wrong when I know I want to go because I have to for my future and that of the children.

I don’t have any family help and although he’s been an absent father he’s not a bad father, I wouldn’t be expecting to have custody of the children.

what advice or help can you suggest for me? I feel very alone doing this, with no family to turn to to
talk through it, it seems very daunting. so
im paralysed at the moment not knowing what to do next.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 13/02/2024 13:29

What is the housing situation for the children now and when you separate?

Have you calculated CMS and UC entitlement?

Getting a mortgage depends on you having a deposit and an income to pay it.

You will need more than 7k for a deposit in most parts of the country. Even with UC and CMS I question whether you would save more or get a mortgage of any reasonable size in most housing markets. Renting may be your only option. Which lots of people do and there seems to be improvements in government support for giving renters stability.

WhyWhyY · 13/02/2024 15:08

I could afford a fixer upper or a flat in my area as I suppose I am lucky that I don’t live somewhere expensive. So I could save up more to make that deposit more like £10k and then I should be able to
get a mortgage for £100k on my salary I’d hope? Online seems to indicate I could without factoring in universal credit - I don’t know what CMS is

OP posts:
WhyWhyY · 13/02/2024 15:17

Oh children live with us now and when we separate I guess they would be asked where they’d like to go and I’d like us both to have an open door policy, they go where they want when they want

OP posts:
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