Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce and mortgage

19 replies

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 15:54

My husband left for another woman, he has moved out. If my current mortgage company says I don’t earn enough to transfer the equity and continue the mortgage alone do I have to sell it? I have 3 small children. I want to divorce but it’s £500 to start the solicitor advice off. I don’t want to pay that to be told I would have to sell. If I would have to sell I think I would just leave things as they are. I can afford to keep paying it alone.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 11/02/2024 17:12

Find a solicitor that does a free first 30 minutes.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 11/02/2024 19:40

Yes if your mortgage company won't allow you to increase the mortgage to pay him off then it would have to be sold.
Mesher orders are really rare now that would have allowed you to stay in the home until the children were 18 - courts don't like locking up another parties equity for so long.
In my divorce settlement ex husband agreed to wait 3 years - hopefully at that point I'll be on a better position financially to remortgage with additional borrowing and pay him. If not then the house has to be sold

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 20:18

He doesn’t want the house and my relative could go on a mortgage with me… I’ve already done the free consultation but they want a payment to advise

OP posts:
CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 20:54

I’ve just been through similar, the best advice I got was actually from my mortgage company. I’ve just accepted their offer and I’m so relieved. It’s a BIG mortgage and I’ve had to extend the length so I can afford the monthly payment. Hopefully your mortgage company will be flexible too. Good luck xxx

Motheranddaughter · 11/02/2024 20:56

Check with the mortgage company as to what your options are

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 21:15

CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 20:54

I’ve just been through similar, the best advice I got was actually from my mortgage company. I’ve just accepted their offer and I’m so relieved. It’s a BIG mortgage and I’ve had to extend the length so I can afford the monthly payment. Hopefully your mortgage company will be flexible too. Good luck xxx

Hi I have spoke to them and they said I could do an assessment to see if I could continue on my own… I turned it down because I just thought there was no way they would accept me being one income… do you think they are more lenient when it is a divorce situation? I’ve spoke to a mortgage advisor to remortgage with a relative but she hasn’t come back to me yet. Did you transfer the equity to yourself?

OP posts:
CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 21:21

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 21:15

Hi I have spoke to them and they said I could do an assessment to see if I could continue on my own… I turned it down because I just thought there was no way they would accept me being one income… do you think they are more lenient when it is a divorce situation? I’ve spoke to a mortgage advisor to remortgage with a relative but she hasn’t come back to me yet. Did you transfer the equity to yourself?

Hi, yes, I had to borrow the equity and add it to the mortgage. Initially they would only give it to me as an expensive loan, then once his name was removed from the joint mortgage, I was able to renegotiate a much more affordable rate for one mortgage that absorbed the loan. It all seemed overly complicated but I got there in the end. I’m on my own with just my salary but I’m paid ok.

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 21:31

CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 21:21

Hi, yes, I had to borrow the equity and add it to the mortgage. Initially they would only give it to me as an expensive loan, then once his name was removed from the joint mortgage, I was able to renegotiate a much more affordable rate for one mortgage that absorbed the loan. It all seemed overly complicated but I got there in the end. I’m on my own with just my salary but I’m paid ok.

When you say you had to borrow the equity was that to pay him out? I don’t need to give him anything… I earn 40k and my
mortgage now is £162 but will be £202 when help to buy gets added in 18 months… I might call them again and double check they won’t allow me to stay on my own first. Maybe I am wrong in assuming they won’t

OP posts:
CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 21:35

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 21:31

When you say you had to borrow the equity was that to pay him out? I don’t need to give him anything… I earn 40k and my
mortgage now is £162 but will be £202 when help to buy gets added in 18 months… I might call them again and double check they won’t allow me to stay on my own first. Maybe I am wrong in assuming they won’t

Hi, yes, I had to pay him off, more than £65k. . My monthly payments are well above £1000! I’m sure they’ll allow you to take it on yourself. Good luck x

LemonTT · 11/02/2024 21:53

I realise you want some certainty right now. But you are not in a position to understand your true finances at the moment.

Take a deep breath. He isn’t asking for the house to be sold or for anything to be settled just yet. But there will come a time when you both have to deal with the end of your marriage. And whilst it is better you do it sooner rather than later, don’t rush head long into things.

If taking over the ownership of the house is a goal you need to do it properly. As long as you remain married and don’t have a financial order agreeing on how your marital assets are split he can make a claim. Even if you take over the mortgage and he says you can keep it. To be home and dry you need the court order.

Things you need to resolve include what exactly you both own that needs to be split. That’s all the savings, pensions, equity in the home and any debts.

Then you need to resolve how these assets are split. It can be anything you both agree on. As long as you show you made the decision in an informed way. This means you both take legal advice and you know what the assets are.

If you have to negotiate the split of the assets you will both need to work out your needs. You will both need a home and pension provision. If there isn’t enough to provide a home for both of you then you may need to get a mesher order to stay in the family home. Note a home can be a rental if that is affordable.

As attractive as a mesher order sounds they come with significant downsides. This is why they are an option of last resort.

As part of establishing the split you need to what you can afford. For this you need to know your income, salary, benefits and any CMS. Although it is always better to not rely on CMS

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 22:00

CherryPieface · 11/02/2024 21:35

Hi, yes, I had to pay him off, more than £65k. . My monthly payments are well above £1000! I’m sure they’ll allow you to take it on yourself. Good luck x

My monthly is £850 now. Thanks for commenting, I will ring them tomorrow and go through the check with them, you have made me more positive about it

OP posts:
CherryPieface · 12/02/2024 00:01

By the way, I meant to say buy him out, not pay him off! Freudian slip!

mathanxiety · 12/02/2024 00:11

You need to find a solicitor and get yourself legally divorced.

The divorce process will result in decisions about the house - who gets to live there, who is responsible for paying the mortgage, whether it is sold and the equity divided.

There is no way around this. Get divorced.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 12/02/2024 06:29

Just to be realistic I can't see that a mortgage lender will lend £202k against a salary of £40k - that's significantly over the threshold usual affordability multiplier - especially having children as dependants. I think you have to be realistic here that it has to be sold

TheLurpackYears · 12/02/2024 08:03

Go to a broker and see what is on the market. You might have to pay , shop around. Mine will be £150 on completion on the new mortgage.
It is an uttermost situation to be in and unfortunately you will need to be stumping up various fees as unfair as it feels when up aren't the one who's buggered off. I've had to take a second job to secure a big enough mortgage to hopefully keep out home. It's he'll trying to maintain professionalism while managing such an unstable family situation.

Nimbus1999 · 13/02/2024 05:11

Are you still in a fixed period OP? When does that expire? How soon do you have to sort the mortgage?

If you’re in a fixed period still, no harm in letting it just carry on as it is for the time being as long as you can make the current repayments.

You both need to make full financial disclosure and can then work out your assets / income and see whether they meet your needs.

You ideally need a clean break court order before taking on any new mortgages in your name. Good to have an idea what you can get though.

Just be warned - although he says you can keep the house and he doesn’t want anything - he can always change his mind and is perfectly entitled to claim some of the equity if jointly owned.

Nimbus1999 · 13/02/2024 05:27

By the way, you do not need a solicitor to apply for divorce. You can do it all yourself online.

Its a slow process but gives you time to sort the finances whilst you are waiting for the various timeframes.

100% do not finalise the divorce until you have a court approved financial order though.

Have you thought of mediation rather than solicitors? You don’t have to use solicitors although always good to seek legal guidance.

I believe if you need to discuss childcare arrangements, you also get £250 towards the cost.

Is it tricky for you to increase your hours with 3 young children? Be good to maximise your income. Also is ex contributing anything? If you know his income, there is an online calculator that calculates what he should be paying for child maintenance. Or is he still helping with the mortgage and bills?

Tosca23 · 13/02/2024 07:39

@LemonTT has hit the nail on the head. Relax, there is no rush here and you are best not to rush if you are dealing with emotional shock.

When it comes to divorce, it’s about the total marital pot - house assets, pension assets, savings, the lot. You tot up the complete pot (you have to get something called CETV values for both parties pensions) and you work from there. You need full financial disclosure so you can assess total pot size. So it’s not just about the house.

With 3 young kids staying with you, you may want 60% of total pot at least. Some would argue for 70% (provided your ex earns the same or more than you). Is your ex living with the other woman? If so try to get some admission of this by text or email as this will strengthen your negotiating position going forward as that will affect his housing needs.

Alot of divorce is negotiation but asking for 65 to 70% is not unreasonable as a starting point if your ex earns the same or more than you. Don’t rush re the house, these things can take years to unravel!

Newestname002 · 13/02/2024 08:41

Sunshineandwaterfalls · 11/02/2024 20:18

He doesn’t want the house and my relative could go on a mortgage with me… I’ve already done the free consultation but they want a payment to advise

Citizens Advice may also be able to help you free of charge. 🌹

New posts on this thread. Refresh page