Confused about process

[DevonCream]

Hi, hope you don't mind me asking for advice on here. We are trying to keep our divorce as cheap and solicitor free as possible but there are a couple of bits coming up I could do with some advice on pls.
We have sent off the form and the 20 weeks comes up on 1/3/24.
What is needed at that point? Do we apply for a conditional order? How much info is needed at that point? The house is up for sale already and we have agreed on a 62/38 split with him agreeing not to touch my work pension (he doesn't have his own). When do we have to mention that, and anything else financial ? Is that consent order? Kids are both teenagers and will mostly live with me but have freedom to go back and forth. Can we sell the house before everything is formally tied up? Thanks.

...also, if by a miracle the house has sold before all this happens and I have an offer accepted on a new place (using the money from the split from equity of current house) will that still be taken into account? Is it risky to do that before financial order is granted?

sorry OP I don't know but as in a similar situation I would be interested in the pension bit as I thought a judge decides this regardless of what you agree?

See if maybe this can help you - https://iamlip.com/ - I couldn't afford to lose thousands of pounds to a solicitor so I had to use free online guides to help me and they were great, specifically this one. It can give you information on what your options are and what you can do. Hope this could help!

Oh that looks great. Thanks so much.

All our finances were documented in the consent order, we basically did it ourselves as we agreed everything between us and like you, didn't even consider each other's pensions. We just filled in the forms and it got sent to the court to be 'sealed'. At this point they can go 'errr this isn't fair' and ask for it to be changed but ours went straight through with no issue and it was a 73/27 split.

Oh also, we actually divided up our assets and money long before our decree absolute and consent order were finalised but we needed to so we could buy houses etc. It's not recommended though I don't think, but we were both amicable and on the same page.

As usual Anita has given her good advice and links

And I’ll add, as usual , go to link at top of this board to ADVICE NOW.

ADVICE NOW have loads of “diy” guides, they tell you what you need solicitor for, what you don’t and what tasks you might use one for. They explain all the processes, “fair settlement “ law, etc etc

i found them when divorcing in 2021, downloaded and printed and gave copy to my ex. It helped him to see I wasn’t making stuff up, that there were processes to follow and consequences if they weren’t . It meant he got on board and we parked animosity to get a “job done “.

they were very good. Just got solicitors to do bare essential tasks (important you both show to court you’ve taken at least some legal advice around consent order ).

we divorced in 4 months from petition to decree final (can’t do that now as at min it’s 26 weeks), and it cost us a total of £1400 in fees and court costs. It was, oddly, one of the lease stressful legal processes I’ve been though. The house selling and buying, as a consequence of divorce, was a fecking nightmare unfortunately 🙄

Can’t praise these guides enough- hence why I asked MN to put link up there.

for England and wales only. Written by legal folks in charity who want to make law more accessible for standard processes like these.

Nope, not true

pemsions are treated as per any other asset.

you can divide unevenly as long as “fair settlement” is achieved

you can avoided pension sharing arrangments by giving over other assets instead.

what you MUST show to court is that

1. you both know the consequences of what you’ve agreed - best achieved by showing you’ve both had at least some legal advice
2. you meet all applicable criteria laid out in the law of “fair settlement “

govto link above at top of board to ADVICE NOW for detailed guides on how you make your financial settlement

a good consent order is merely sealed on day of final order by court. No questions asked, no discussion, you just get your legal sealed version back. But to do that you need to ensure you preempt and explain why you’ve agreed to do what you’ve agreed in your draft consent order, and show it is meeting fair settlement

We did same.
ex already had a house though thst had been rented out and was vacant. I couldn’t afford to stay in family home myself so needed it to be sold urgently.

in practice our divorce was very quick - 4 months, so he moved out mid month, I moved out on house sale completion at end of thst month and decree absolute came through with consent order sealed 4 days after I moved into my new home.

like you I worked hard to keep it amicable. We avoided solicitors for all but essential bits and worked through ourselves.

and like you, we did all the consent order draft in “layman’s terms” before I even petitioned, and we had everything signed and ready to go before we hit decree Nisi, so solicitor just posted it on line then ready for court to seal at decree absolute.

But what if the house sells, we both take our (unequal) share of equity and buy a new place before divorce is finalised and consent order done? Could that ever come back on us if the money is already split? It's our only asset. Apart from my work pension which he says he won't touch and is happy for me to ringfence. He has no pension himself.

It wasn't an issue for us, that's exactly how we did it. I bought my house, moved in, 3 months later got decree absolute and then 2 months after that consent order was sealed. I don't think it's the recommended way to do it but there was a good amount of trust on both sides, and there was no issue with the consent order. The courts don't care or get involved with the physical logistics of who, how and when each gets what money, just the documentation.