Wanting to divorce

[ParrotCatDog]

I would like to divorce husband. Ive filled in the online form and on the verge of submitting.

i just want us to walk away from each other in all honesty with him paying child maintenance.

We dont have a house to sell/no other assets. Currently renting. We have savings of £30k each. Both have our own cc debt.

we both have pensions. Were both on the same money working full time.

can i do this myself with out extortionate solicitors fees? I know id need to involve them for the financial order/child arrangements order but if we can agree on things, is that possible? I want it done and dusted asap, not dragged on..

Yes it's absolutely possible to do it yourself if you can be amicable and agree on the arrangements. Your finances will be easy to split which is in your favour for sure.

Ok great, I'm not out to fleece him. I wish him well and want him to have a nice place to have the kids in the future etc. hes not the sort of person to be proactive and go to a solicitor so hopefully ill do the leg work, present him with a plan and he just agrees!!! Yeah i know it wont go that smoothly!

As you probably know, the online divorce is very easy to do. My solicitor has advised doing this, then going to mediation to sort out finances and child related things if possible to be amicable, and I may never need to use his services. He hasn't charged me anything as yet and has given free advice, but I know he is there if needed. I think you should be able to do it fairly cheaply if your partner is willing. Mine won't be! I'm at the same stage as you, form filled in and ready to press send, but I am hesitant as I know he will really kick off once I start the ball rolling...

I think mine is going to be upset, its not what he wants but its been a long time coming. Hopefully once hes gotten over the initial shock and accepted it, we can move forward

Go to link above ADVICE NOW

essentially diy guides for divorce and all its processes.

Thanks for flagging, ive read through all of that, its really useful.

my advice with what worked with my ex who had mental illness

You may want to, gently and subtly, draw his attention to the grief pathway or a similar “change curve”.
these do help people understand their changing and conflicting emotions through the process of any loss or major life change, which divorce is (even for you there is a loss of a future you once thought would happen). This becomes powerful in helping people then process these emotions and get through what needs to be done to both be able to move on with your lives.
no magic fix- but a useful tool maybe

give him time and space, say you have some guides on process you can share with him to do much of work yourselves, WHEN he is ready . Say perhaps when he’s ready you could work through togther to understand what p4ocess is and where solicitors are needed etc.
But don’t rush headlong into “getting on with it” as you are way further through that grief pathway then he is. let him catch up and get past the denial, bargaining and anger stages which could quickly lead to a break in amicable discussion if yo7 push too fast.

I agree with everything the above commenters' say. The advice here is really good. It's definitely possible to do your divorce yourself without having to pay the extortionate solicitors' fees, I had to do it myself with free help guides online as using a solicitor was just not in my budget. In case it can provide extra help, I'll leave the free guide I used here so you have two options including the one posted above. https://iamlip.com/
It's not right that people have to pay such high amounts, so I hope this can help x

Agree @Anita848 and i think this terrifies people into staying in unhappy marriages. Thanks for the extra info, ill take a look. No idea on how this all works but determined to become an expert 😆

Yes it's absolutely possible to just agree things between yourselves without involving solicitors to keep costs down. There are also services like www.thedivorceteam.co.uk that will sort the filings and things for you.