Been with DH 14 years, married for 5. Relationship has always been volatile. Things have gotten progressively worse which resulted in me asking him to leave and he's now staying at his DMs. I've basically gone NC for the last few weeks other than important issues to sort bills etc.
I've told him I'm happy to sit down and discuss moving forwards at some point but I'm not sure what the future holds. I basically need time to get my head straight and work out what I want.
So not to drip feed, DH is very difficult to deal with. He has anger issues, can be quite controlling, manipulative and verging on emotionally abusive.
We have no DCs together and our own DCs are now late teens. They're aware of what is going on and we are managing it well, both seeing them separately to maintain relationships.
I'm not sure what I want going forward. Life at home is so much more relaxed. My anxiety levels are better, I'm more productive and I'm generally happier. I do miss him but not enough to have DH move back in.
That being said, I'm not sure I'm ready to call it a day. We have previously discussed counselling and I'm willing to try with an open mind that the outcome could go either way. DH isn't pressuring me to talk, he's been good about giving me space.
I feel like everything is hanging over me waiting on a decision. So my question is, should I arrange to meet up with him to basically tell him my thoughts on how I feel? Maybe suggest going to counselling. Or do I leave it for a bit longer to see how i feel later down the line?
A part of me just wants to call it quits completely but then the other part feels like our relationship deserves a bit more work. We get on great when we're doing OK, but the lows are just soul destroying.
He's been gone nearly three weeks now BTW.
Thanks, sorry if that was long.