Divorce court question

[WanderingTheHills]

Hello,

I'm pondering whether, or not, to take my divorce financial settlement to court. Would I have to go in person? Would stbx? I am not sure I could handle it. We no longer communicate. Anxiety is high!

Can I avoid having to physically go to court?

First appointment will be remote but if you take it to court you will be asked to fill in the financial discloser first. Fill in the form A and submit it to your local court. The court will send you and him the form E - the financial disclosure so then you will have to renegotiate and hope you agree before the first appointment. If you don't then you will have to attend the second hearing in person.
Hope this helps.

@JKM66 the first hearing may well be in person.

you can ask for separate waiting rooms and a screen so you don’t have to look at him.

Getting to Court is expensive route.
are you wildly disconnected and is there reason for that?
can your solicitors help you work a mn agreement

If it helps, it says here that there's a possibility you can request a screen or private room if you have to go to court so you won't have to see/be near them but it depends on how cooperative the court you're going to is. Maybe call them and see what your options are xx
https://iamlip.com/realities-of-the-court-and-legal-process/

But if you can, avoid court as its not the best option if you hire a solicitor. You can avoid having too high costs if you use help guides like these ones and do majority of it yourself but keeping it out of court would definitely be better if you need to hire a solicitor to do it all as the debt/costs may not be worth it.

help please, I wondered if there is anyone out there in similar position to me. I've worked, paid all childcare, all uni fees, all living expenses for 4 grown up children, paid all the mortgage, all the utilities, provisions, furniture everything while my husband chose to work part time, or not at all. I've slept on the sofa for 18 years, waiting for my last son to complete his studies as he wouldn't have coped with a divorce, despite all my efforts, is it right that I should give up 50%of everything ? doesn't financial abuse and narcissistic behavior come into it?

@Madz21

Rightly or wrongly - behaviour or his part time job will have no bearing on asset split.
You may be able to not split all your pension - but it will depend on many factors.

Best advice - don't wait any longer. I think your kids will not be surprised given their mom slept on a sofa for years…

Yesterday I was told about a section 25, where behaviour can be entered.
I didn't have enough funds for private pension but will qualify for state pension.

You’re referring to section 25 of the matrimonial act. Take a look. ‘Behaviour’ factors need to be extreme and directly related to how assets should be split. This is rarely successful. It’s not ‘just’ he was nasty/verbally abusive/controlling/refused to work/ was spiteful etc. I.e if there was domestic violence to the point where physical injury caused by that left the party unable to work that might impact. Domestic violence itself is not necessarily considered a factor.
I believe there this also a possibility to bring in financial misconduct but again you have to demonstrate reckless intention to dissipate assets not just he didn’t contribute.

this act is not designed simply as a tool to punish one party through splitting of assets.

I'm not aiming to punish, I just wanted what I paid for. I don't have any private pensions.
The house was my pension, or so I thought. The other thing is that my solicitor failed to file the divorce prior to the change in divorce law. He then said it wouldn't have made any difference.
I just feel very used and let down.

It doesn’t work like that!

courts ( and the laws applicable to separation of assets) don’t care who paid for what. You could pay 100% of everything for 50 years and still walk away with 50:50 split of assets. Or less.

so you need to move away from
that thinking and look at what both your incomes are, what both housing needs are, how can both have similar standards of living going forward etc

look at the assets you have. If you sell the house what equity is there. Does 50% provide a means to purchase you both a small property? Does he need more as mortgage ability lower? Can you both get mortgages if so how much etc etc.

if you earn more he may be successful in putting a needs based claim in arguing for higher share

Your solicitor is right. It wouldn’t have made any difference