Son choosing to see abusive ex husband

[whycantitbecalm]

:( This week is a struggle.

Backstory: separated for a year, now divorced. Narc Ex husband was emotionally abusive to all 4 of us (me and 3 teenage boys) and also physically aggressive to 17 yr old son.

All 3 teens 14, 16 & 17 have spent much of the last year avoiding ex.

17 yr old has stayed in contact with him for money handouts, but this week has invited him out and visited him this week too.

My brain is fried, his choices are confusing me, why would he want to spend time with someone who treated him so badly. Teen is the first to moan about the way he was treated.

I'm trying hard to not be judgemental to his face, and keep communication open between us.

Does this get any easier?!

Ask him

Because children have an unending ability to forgive their parents almost anything.

Because he is his dad. This is what your son grew up with. This is his normal.

He’s almost an adult and it is his choice to be in contact with his Dad. There’s nothing you can do about this.

Just be patient the ex will fall eventually and the rose glasses will fall off and he wil be back to mum. Happened 2 teens I know one a cousin another a friends daughter. Once the dad stopped buying,giving money to buy there child after about a year the glasses of dad is suddenly amazing fell off and they stopped going to him. Just be there, be patient all will turn out fine