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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How will I manage as a single parent , please share your tips

3 replies

Funsunmum · 22/01/2024 21:05

I am soon to become a single parent by choice. I have 2 preteens. We are all still living together at the moment but it has to happen this year.
The reasons are many , and I don't want to go into them on here .
I have to do it, it's gone on long enough and it's now damaging our kids, there's always a bad atmosphere, myself and their dad don't get on and my son also doesn't get on with his dad to the point that when we split I think he will refuse to see him.

I work full time in a 9-5 job, on minimum wage currently as been a sahm for a good while. I have filled in the benefits calculator, and I will get a top up on my wages I think but it still won't be enough to cover our current outgoings , so there is the financial worry of it.
On the days I will have the kids, my working hours will prevent me from taking/fetching them to/from school, and of course i won't have enough annual leave to cover the school holidays /even half. What do i do with my kids? They arent old enough to stay alone.
my Husband currently does the school runs. Son at high school can sort himself at home, hes pretty independent, but we live abit too far from school for him to walk and there is no direct bus . My daughter has one year left of primary, there is an before/after school club but I won't be able to afford it as I'm on minimum wage!
The only thing I can think of is relying on the kindness of others to help me but that isn't a great solution. My parents are too old to help.
On top of this like I say I think my son would stay with me 100% of the time. How will I manage day to day? How will I manage financially and how do I juggle everything myself?

OP posts:
FacingDivorceButSad · 04/02/2024 22:30

Have you included child care in your calculation for benefits? Upto 85% can be covered by UC. Have you also looked at child maintenence and how much you are likely to be awarded?

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 05/02/2024 08:54

Factor in child maintenance but the reality is you will have to change your lifestyle to suit your new financial circumstances - moving/downsizing etc. your kids are old enough to understand the situation so I would sit them down and clearly and concisely taking out as much emotion as possible explain the whys and wherefors of what is going to happen

rockingbird · 05/02/2024 09:53

Don't panic, I stayed far too long for very similar reasons. The truth is you'll learn to manage and in a couple of years the kids will be old enough to pitch in a little and not need so much wrap around care. If you're able to find a more flexible work schedule that would help, also think about finances including child maintenance. All too often parents stay in relationships because they think there's no way out, I did so myself for far too many years. I'm financially much better off and the children have been more resilient than I'd ever expected! I wish you the best of luck xx

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