Moving out after divorce - feeling all over the place

[Eyesforward]

I filed for divorce about 2 years ago and I’ve been in the same house with ExH since then. He hasn’t spoken to me in all that time. Not even looked at me, even in front of the kids. It’s been really hard.

I’m moving out this week and am lucky enough to be able to buy a lovely house. I’m all packed and ready to go. I have been waited for this but now it’s here I’m a mess. The kids will be 50-50, which we’ve done for a while now, but obviously it will be different being in a separate house. Can’t stop wishing things were different. He wasn’t very nice to me in recent years, which is why I filed for divorce, but it could all have been so different.

I would really appreciate some words of encouragement to get me through the next few days.

He didn’t want to change for you, to make it better. It’s not you. Go find happiness.

Having your own space exactly the way you want it is one of the very best things about being divorced. Moving is always stressful. Try to focus on some concrete things like how you want your new living room set up.
I took my kids to IKEA and gave them all £50 to buy stuff for their rooms which was an exciting positive event too as it helped them get things how they wanted it too.
Good luck OP. This time next week it'll be done.

Thank you for the messages. I'm in pieces at the moment. I'd been doing much better recently, but today I'm so sad and full of regret.

When I moved out my husband and I sat on the floor and cried together. It was unreconcilable, he didn't want kids, but we loved each other desperately. I never did have kids and often wonder what would have happened if I'd just stayed. It will be ok sweetie 🥰

Hugs. That sounds really hard. You will absolutely feel much better once you are in your lovely new house. Just think of the bliss of not having to put up with a petulant sulker who refuses to speak to you. He sounds vile and you are much better off without him, he's been horrible to you and now you are moving on with your life without him, maybe treat yourself to some fresh new bed linen and some lovely things just for you. Make your new house a calm quiet sanctuary away from the sulker and his moods. It can't have been good for the children to have to witness his disgusting behaviour either

You're over the worst of it and can look forward to a new, and hopefully happier, future. I can almost guarantee that once you've moved into your new home you'll feel nothing but relief (maybe tinged with a little sadness). You'll look back to today and wonder why it all seemed so hard.

Thank you all. I can't stop crying but I feel a bit less alone. I just need to be brave.

Hi... I don't think you necessarily need to be brave all the time, let the emotions come and go until one day you feel a bit more like the way you want to see and feel yourself.

I left ex husband back in July 22, lived with my dear mum for a year and then had the ability to buy a house back in the summer. It's still very much a work in progress for me and I find the emotions are coming now rather than in the beginning.

Be true to yourself and despite some days not being as good as you wish, take it and remind yourself your new life will mould again but in a different way which you will adapt. Time to heal is crucial and not a quick fix.

Thank you for all the kind words.

i’m really struggling. I was excited about moving but now it just feels overwhelming. It’s not exciting doing it by myself. It’s so different from when I moved into my last house with my now exh. I really really miss him (and who we used to be). I miss having a family altogether. My new house feels so empty without the kids (it’s 50-50). I miss them so much. I just wish everything was different. I wish I had tried harder.

You could have tried as hard as you wanted but if he was not willing to try it would not have worked. Make a home for your kids and make a life for yourself. Join clubs, make friends and realise you are worth it .

I’m worried it wasn’t that bad afterall. This feels worse.

You need to find some strength because this man has not spoken to you or looked at you for 2 years in front on your children. That is fucking disgusting behaviour from him and you are well rid of this dickhead. It’s normal to have a wobble but he is not worth your tears.

You both lived under the same roof (separately) for nearly 2 years and he hasn't spoken a word to you?
How has that affected your children?
How did you communicate regarding the children?
If you spoke to him did he just ignore you?
The life you are starting now will be so much better for you and the children. Yes its a big change, and emotions all over the place, but in a few weeks you'll be fine.