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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Don’t know what to do

2 replies

Zuzzu · 18/01/2024 14:46

Hi all.
First of all I want to apologise, English is not my first language.
I have been married to my husband for 16 years, together we have been 20 years. We have children, teenagers. During these 20 years my husband has cheated me at least twice (as far as I know). First was before we had kids, it was with his coworker. I just had suffered my second miscarriage when he cheated. The second time was when the kids were quite young, and this time the affair lasted for over a year and it was with one of my closest friends. The first affair I forgave him because I wanted to have kids, the second I forgave because the kids were so small and I was afraid to be alone.
After the second affair we had some counselling and I thought all was good until recently..
During last summer I noticed that the children did not need me so much and I had time for my self and time to think. I was going through these affairs and started to feel jealous again. Jealousy can be poisoning so I went to an individual councelling to get rid of the jealousy feelings. Instead I noticed thinking of a divorce rather than healing from jealousy. Then on DecemberI had an affair andI confessed it to my husband. He is ready to forgive me but I think Idon’t want to even try. I promised to him that I won’t do any decisions now, but we will have a separation starting from 1st February.
I am devastated because my husband is in shock and I broke his world, that’s why I promised not to file for the divorce now but to try to work things out.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 18/01/2024 14:50

You do what you want to do, which sounds like you want to leave. You owe him nothing. It’s his fault, he killed the marriage with all his cheating. Even with your friend!! Move on. You could have someone so much better!

Zuzzu · 18/01/2024 14:58

I think I really need to go, and living I separation is a start. I can’t stop feeling sorry for him for breaking his world. We have had a reasonable good relationship after the affairs, very little arguments etc.And to confess him I was unfaithful and want to leave broke his heart. I know I’m too emphatic towards him,I know that for sure. But he is still someone I’ve been with 20 years and he is the father of my kids. And I love him for that.

OP posts:
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