So I’m going through a divorce at the moment. I was in an abusive marriage and I know this is the right decision but I’m having a really hard time over a few particular bits. During our marriage my ex secretly photographed and filmed me on several occasions. When I caught him I asked him to stop, which as far as I am aware he did however I don’t know a) what he did with those recordings/photographs or b)whether there are more that I didn’t see. I am now beginning to realise that this has shaped and continues to shape our interactions with each other. My ex is very arrogant, always right and ignores anything he doesn’t want to discuss, talk about etc. I guess he is very controlling in this way but I feel lost that in the back of my head I know and he knows there was/is recordings of me he has in his possession and I guess I will never know what has happened to them. It’s fundamentally taken my self confidence and i feel is a power he has over me that I can’t do anything about. I want this whole thing over now but wonder if my thoughts and feelings around this will ever change? His attitude is so dismissive of others feelings about anything. I worry too for my children as his behaviour is so self focussed. I feel like I’m struggling to be strong during our divorce process because of the above. Just after any advice really on how I can protect myself and my kids long term and her through this as unscathed as possible.