Children taken abroad by father

[Daisylira]

I’ve been a MN member for a while, and whenever someone separates or divorces their foreign born husband, posters always say hide passports, etc. and I have always raised my eyebrows at such comments, thinking urgh, how presumptuous.

Well, it’s happened to a family friend. It was a very abusive marriage and he tried his best to isolate her from her family but her mum refused to stay away. She finally left him and after she allowed him to see their children, he flew to a North African country (she had their British passports with her but he had taken out passports in his home country).

Can she do anything? Obviously she’s spoken to the police and the consulate, and I’ve directed her to the charity Reunite International. I can’t help but think she won’t ever get them back but I want to give her some hope. As you can imagine, she’s in a complete state right now. Genuinely don’t know what she can do. The country they’re in is not signed up to The Hague Convention and her ex is the worst of the worst so no hope of him doing the right thing.

Has she got any idea where he’s actually taken them? I’ve followed a few similar cases, and honestly the only one where I’ve seen a parent get their child back was in a case where the parent was ridiculously rich and basically paid for private investigators etc to track them down. Even then it took many years, and they were only found after the other parent was arrested for something else and their details put in that countries database

Check this website out: https://childabduction.com/recoveries-childabduction-com-iecc-link/

No, no idea. His only family in his home country are his father and brother, so presumably gone there but that’s just guessing.

Yeah she’s not wealthy so won’t have the resource. I’ve googled for previous cases involving his country but can’t see any success stories and it’s very much a case of local police won’t to anything. It’s really heartbreaking.

Thanks. Organisations like that have crossed my mind. Will suggest the possibility.

I've heard of a similar story to this one. The father flew the children to a North African country also and a year on, the mother isn't allowed to see the children. She moved to the country in question, appointed solicitors, infromed the local police, but nothing has been done. She took to social media to shame the father and regulalrly posts videos of her outside his home where the children are, shouting their names, knocking on the door but unfortunately he refuses to allow contact. She even went to the local press and was on the news a number of times.

It's very unfrotunate that the consulate and embassy don't help in these situations.

I hope your friend's ex comes to his senses and understands the importance of the mother's role in the children's lives.

Also, if the kids are close to being adults, she may possibly contact them on social media and encourages them come back to the UK when they are of legal age.

When did he leave? Did he say he wouldn't return them?

I'm Moroccan, if the dad is Moroccan, you can DM me and I will try my best to help you finding lawyers or other resources in Morocco that could assist her.

For all the times people slate mumsnet, and how everyone is a bunch of bitchy vipers, individual little posts like this, offering a stranger tangible support, totally show why it can be the most wonderful place!

Perhaps a silly question but has he definitely abducted with intent to stay or just took them on holiday against her will and is deliberately not giving information as pay back for her leaving him - what ties to the U.K. does he have?

Reasoning with him and promising he can be in the kids lives and he can bring them to visit his family in the future might be sufficient to get him to return them - I've seen it happen. If not then others have already suggested the main avenues, but there will be orgs within the specific country that deal with this too, plenty of women living there will be sympathetic and helpful

How old are the children? Is there any possibility they’re just on holiday and he’s trying to freak
her out but not intending to stay?

It’s really important to highlight that the mitigations against this type of abduction to a non Hague Convention country are more than just taking the passports. As this case highlights.

There are other actions that should be taken, like Port Alerts, Prohibited Steps Orders and CAO. Whilst is it still possible to leave the country with all these things, it’s far more difficult.

The abduction should be reported to the police and alerts issued. Those passports could be used for reentry.

Even if done to intimidate and he returns, it is an unlawful abduction and possibly a crime.