I’ll try to keep it brief. Married 18years with 3 children, youngest 9. Our relationship has slowly deteriorated over the last 7 years, predominantly due to financial issues (and lies) from poor business decisions (he’s self employed). I work full time & am the breadwinner, in addition I do all the shopping, cooking, housework, homework, 90% of taxing the kids to their extra curricular activities, parent/teacher meetings, birthday parties/presents, Christmas etc. I’m also pay all household bills (with the exception of refuse collection). Despite many conversations over the years things never improved. He has always been financially constrained due to massive financial burden he put on himself. Obviously I supported the marriage for years but it reached a point where I had/have enough! At one point we had a joint account, I’d lodge & he’d withdraw! We both agree at this stage that the marriage is over & he agreed 6mths ago he’d give me a divorce & move into his parents home 5min drive away which he inherited (they are deceased). However 6mths on, he’s still here & he’s driving me crazy. I’m run ragged while he’ll take off to his room for hours in the evening on his phone while I try to do everything. I know he’s been on chat rooms & at this stage also suspect he might be seeing someone. When I ask him why he’s not gone/has he changed his mind etc. all I get is ‘I don’t know’ but I know that is to intentionally annoy me. The house is the kids home so I’m not going to move out plus I have nowhere to go. Any home improvements etc. over the last 10years I’ve paid for it all so I have invested a lot in the house. I know that if I instigate solicitors letters he’ll tell the kids that I’m the cause of the breakup etc. He also told them about 2yrs ago following a very heated row. He told them & then left the house & I was left to console/reassure them.
I feel I’m in limbo while in the meantime he comes & goes as he chooses, brings them to an occasional football practice if he’s around & if not, oh well! My main support was my sister but they fell out few years ago after she loaned him money & he fell behind on repayments. Since they fell out, he won’t ‘allow’ her into our house.
I feel so miserable & hate my life but can’t see anything improving until such time as he decides to leave (if he ever will)!
Any advice?