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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Alcoholic/ Affairs— I just need to vent

7 replies

Goditsmeagain · 08/01/2024 05:27

About a week before Christmas my husband relapsed, again. He’s never been able to be sober for longer than a six month stretch. Right before Christmas the drinking started again. I was wrapping presents and making Christmas cookies and got a call from my mother “I don’t even know how to tell you this or if I should tell you”. Apparently my husband, who was in the other room, accidentally sent her messages intended for another woman. Things to the effect of “let’s run away together, meet up with me and * the man of your dreams, etc. When I confronted him about it he started screaming at me calling me a wh** and a few other names. I called the police. He heard me on the phone with them and he left. I was in the process of finishing out the 45 pages of divorce papers the next morning when I got a call from the local jail. “What did you do?” “I don’t know, I just woke up here” “Did you kill someone?” “I don’t know, I don’t even know where our car is” I found the car. I also found his ring in the cupholder. Also, his phone laying on the floorboard of the car. He was pulled over at 2:08 am. On his phone were messages to a woman arranging to meet up with her and pay her $200 for an hours worth of sexual favors. He was on his way there when he was pulled over. He’s going to be going to prison for 18 months. We have a 5 month old. I am absolutely disgusted. I will never forgive him. He’s a miserable sober person and a complete and utter monster when he relapses. He’s turned my life into a living nightmare. This man doesn’t just relapse, he drinks bottles and bottles of vodka until he gets black out drunk and something terrible happens. He’s going to be getting out for a month or so before he goes in to serve his 18 month prison sentence and all I think about is how I want to pack up all of my belongings and the kids and get as far away from him as possible. God I wish that I could. Thanks in advance for anybody that took the time to read this and I appreciate any support or advise that you have to give.

OP posts:
BelindaOkra · 08/01/2024 06:26

Do you know he will definitely get a custodial sentence?

I’m sorry OP. It definitely sounds like the relationship is over. It sounds a horrible situation. How will things be financially?

NCgoingdry · 08/01/2024 06:29

That's a VERY quick charging decision OP 🧐

Unless there's a long back story about how he's already on license?

CandyLeBonBon · 08/01/2024 06:54

18 months for a first offence is unusual- as is the speed at which he's been charged prosecuted and sentenced! When an ex boyfriend got caught d&d, his court case wasn't for at least 6 months! And he only got a fine and community service. Is this for a previous offence, or is there more to this?

Gcsunnyside23 · 08/01/2024 07:24

Clearly more backstory of you know already he's going away for 18m, does he have previous or out on bail? Seems straight forward though, divorce and leave him in the dust. You have a child to think of and yourself,bring ruin their life

rustlerwaiter · 08/01/2024 08:00

You already know you're better off without. In my experience alcoholics rarely change.

Goditsmeagain · 08/01/2024 12:48

This would actually be his 5th OWI. In the state I live in it carries a mandatory 18 month minimum sentence.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/01/2024 13:44

You need to divorce him and get out of this marriage permanently. Honestly, life is too short.

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