Hi all,
NC as I'm worried about ff seeing this.
STBExH physically and emotionally abused me and the children. Very lengthy FF hearing (6 days), significant findings made against him. S7 report rec no f2f contact, Judge agreed to indirect letters only. He shows no remorse, and still denying he ever did anything wrong. He hasn't seen them in 3 years, and in that time has sent 3 letters.
DD1 9 suffering PTSD and anxiety due to abuse, seeing psychologist weekly for therapy, also diagnosed ADHD/ASD/ODD. She doesn't sleep, scared he's going to come back and attack her, constantly wets the bed and we're generally up every hour or so.
DD2 3 selective mutism, ARFID and suspected ASD (meltdowns and self harms)
I worked 25 hours after DD1, but after DD2 went down to 16 hours, and tbh struggling to keep to this with the countless GP/hospital appts, calls from school to collect DD1 due to behaviours etc. My days off are filled with endless phone calls to make, referrals to chase, prescriptions to collect etc. I wake up everyday dreading what may come.
First financial hearing due next week- STBExH not replying to my solicitors emails, not attempting to negotiate or provide information asked for. Form E was completed and exchanged, but no contact since.
A few assets- Marital home (approx £300k equity, £200k outstanding) which me and the kids live in, with ex currently paying mortgage payments but fixed rate ending soon and interest will sky rocket so he may just stop. Plus ex owns a BTL valued around 200k fully paid off, and another property he lives in with his siblings valued £400k fully paid off (4 bedroom house split between 3 of them), both these properties were purchased before marriage.
His Form E states he wants enough equity to rehome himself and the children into suitable housing (Court paperwork states he can only send them letters 3 x times a year and there's a restraining order that he can't come near me or the kids).
I want to ask the court if I can ask to sell the marital home, but keep all the equity for me and the kids to rehouse somewhere smaller, mortgage free. I can't afford the repayments, plus house has bad memories for all of us and want to get out ASAP, and I simply wouldn't qualify with any bank for any mortgage. Am I being realistic when honestly I haven't actually contributed a penny to the mortgage since having DD1 as all my income went on household stuff, whilst ex paid all the "bills".
I can't see my DD's needs changing anytime soon, and I am absolutely exhausted all day every day. Have very little income for myself (approx £800 pm after pension). DD1 has just started to receive DLA before Xmas, so not disclosed on the Form E which was sent months ago, would I have to disclose this as income in court? I do receive UC, which was about £800 per month and I disclosed it on the Form E, but since the DLA it will go up another £400ish I think (disability element and carers). Will that mean that I am now classed as having a better income and therefore less likely to keep the family home equity?
Sorry for long post.
I am too mentally drained for all of this. I thought the contact case would be the hardest, but if things go his way I won't be able to keep a roof over our heads.
TIA x