HOW DID DIVORCE MAKE YOU FEEL

[Flash15x]

I have someone in my life I'm worried about, they are going through a divorce, divorce is all but done but it's the finances that are the issues and the split etc. My friend is quite proud and doesn't ask for help but I know financially it's a lot on top of now living alone and paying expenses etc that would previously of been split. My friend and there ex didn't split amicably, and the ex is stalling alot in regards to finances, house value, responding to correspondence, disclosing form e etc.

My friend has become quite withdrawn, ended a new relationship, likes to be alone etc.
Is there anything I can do to help them or any advice of ways I can help please.

It's incredibly stressful, especially if it involves having to sell your home, infidelity by your spouse, and disputes over the finances, introducing any DC to new partners, etc.

I lost 3 stone in 2 months - I wasn't overweight to start off with - after I discovered my wife having an affair with our friend and she left and moved in with her immediately (I begged her to stay and work on things). My body literally rejected food (I was sick if I ate).

I became depressed, couldn't focus on work (more stress worrying I'd lose my job as well), couldn't get out of bed, could barely function. My in-laws, who I loved and thought loved me, welcomed OW with open arms and immediately started doing all the "family" things with her that they used to do with me. It was crushing.

What has kept me going is my DC, my close friends and my family. And anti-depressants and therapy. I feel I've turned a corner over Christmas and finally accepted it's really over and even though I have to sell the home I love and only get to see my DC 50% of the time now, I'm better off without someone who treated me and our DC so callously. The person I loved was an illusion. My close friends have helped me to see this. The friends who were both our friends, and who have maintained their friendship with her, I've had to distance myself from because I can't get my head around how anyone could witness a good friend treated like this and stay on good terms with the one who had the affair and left.

You sound like a lovely friend. I think just regular check-ins by text and call are good. If you think she's losing weight, go round with a couple of meals cooked that she can just warm up, or take her out for dinner. Sounds weird but one of my friends sends me motivational reels and memes on Insta and I'm not a self-help type at all but I like them.

100% agree with the other commenter. You sound like a great friend so just being there and checking in can really help. It makes the person going through it feel less alone. As long as they're comfortable, encourage them to leave their home for things like lunch at a cafe or just a cup of tea to get some fresh air outside and remind them to take time out for themselves - I forgot to take care of myself and it only hurt me and the people around me. It'll take some time but they'll get there x
If its becoming financially difficult to go through with the divorce, recommend using online resources. They're the best because they can help save so much money in the long run rather than wasting it on lawyers. Here's one I used - https://iamlip.com/

Wishing the best for your friend x