Will it give it all away??

[Sobaditsfunny]

Okay, I need some advice.

Been in an abusive relationship. Finally got out, he was arrested and divorce has started.

Now at the stage of financial hearing. Last date to amend the financial disclosures is tomorrow, court date is next month.

There is a section that states contributions of each party/bad behaviour etc which may influence what is awarded. I'm sole caregiver of our children, he is not interested.

I told the solicitor what he is being investigated for by police, details of the 'bad behaviour' and reasons he can earn more than me/manipulation tactics he used etc.

She thinks as there's evidence of this and a criminal case ongoing it's best to put that info out there. However I'm scared he's going to read this disclosure this week and 1. It will tell him exactly what is going to be brought up in his criminal case and 2. Give him chance to think up revenge/punishment etc

I very much need a decent financial settlement to provide for the children as he is fighting against paying maintenence and using every trick in the book. He has hold of our life savings. However will it be at the expense of giving him all the information he needs? The trial for the criminal case won't begin until 1-2 years.

I don't know what to do for the best. If anyone has experience of this or dealt with narcissistic/abusive people in court please let me know your opinions!

Thank you in advance.

Has he been charged? If so, he will know what is in his criminal case as it all has to be disclosed to him. He either finds out now or finds out when he gets the prosecution papers (if he hasn’t got them already).

Even if he’s just been interviewed, the police will have gone through the evidence against him.

Also, if he knows there is a criminal case, he will already have had a chance to start planning any retaliation he intends so you might as well go all in for the best financial settlement possible.

Put in what he knows, ie what he is accused of?

’bad behaviour’ is rarely taken into account even if it’s extreme so choose carefully what is genuinely useful re finances specifically and leave anything else out that isn’t going to sway the judge.

He was charged when he was first arrested but now they've investigated they are bringing more charges against him. Okay, I will look back at it and make sure everything mentioned is specifically to do with the finances. Feel like I need a tutorial on how to navigate through court 🙈

This. The evidence will be presented to him so he can have a chance to defend himself against it (as wrong as I think it is to give criminals a chance to create a lie or false alibi against something). You may as well rip the band aid off now and help this case as he’ll find out anyway