Hi.
I have made the decision to separate from my husband after just 18 months of marriage. We have been together 16 years and have 2 children together.
I am separating because of his bad moods, temper and drinking. These issues are probably related. It seems cyclical in that things can be good- great even- for periods, but during times of (his) high stress, he can be awful. Sullen, non communicative, negative..but this has been topped by several 'outbursts'. The most recent saw him shouting at me to 'fuck off to bed.'
In the past (although several years ago) he has also physically intimidated me by purposefully getting 'in my face' during an argument to silence me.
More worryingly, he has also been (mildly?) aggressive towards our teenage daughter on occasion. Yet, in between times, he can be lovely. The incidents with our daughter have been since we married (I think purely because of her age/teens pushing boundaries) and I think these incidents and the recent incident of him telling me to 'fuck off' have triggered memories of other incidents over the years and I am now at a point of feeling unable to continue in a relationship with him.
My issue is that he is being exceptionally reasonable about separating- saying he will get anger management and help for his drinking. He is also buying a flat for him to live in...but I feel so guilty.
He comes from a fairly well off family and as a result, has put a lot more into the pot than me- although I have also sold property, worked and made good business decisions...yet I hate the idea of relying on 'his' money in the form of equity in the house. It's almost as if his reasonableness is making it worse.
I would just like to separate and not be reliant on his historic 'family money', but realistically this is tied up in the family house.
I have not yet sought legal advice.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom?
TIA