Reasonable

[Captain1]

Am I being unreasonable here?

wife moved out in March, I pay the rent for her (£1400 a month). I live in the old house until it’s sold with 3 grown up kids and the dog.

im often away on business sometimes for a week at a time.

The ex has occasionally come over while I’m away to stay and visit the kids/dog.

she’s now saying she will stay all the time whenever I’m away “to keep an eye on things?”. I told her it’s unacceptable that I don’t have a private space, I know she goes through all my things when I’m not there and sleeps in my bed, probably with her new partner.

she says if I don’t like it tough. I’ve threatened to stop paying her rent , and she said if I do that she will move back in.

ideas?

It’s her house so she can do what she likes.

Does she pay anything towards the old house? I don't think it's unreasonable to not want her going through your things and sleeping in your bed with a new partner. Very disrespectful.
Have you spoken to a solictor?

Obvious answer is to get an occupation order, although I’m not sure what the grounds would be.

You have been separated 9 months. It’s time to get the divorce and financial agreement completed. You could have begun this already.

The moral of the story is that for every dick move one of you makes the other can usually counter. That will be endless as long as you don’t remember there are children in the middle.

get to mediation and into court.

Stop paying her rent
get divorce proceedings moving without delay
add locks to your bedroom
door etc

I kind of agree with @LemonTT here.

She is being very unreasonable but, the way divorce laws stand, you have equal rights to live in the house. You could make sure that next time she is away, you go and spend a night or two in her rental, ‘just to keep an eye on things’.

But, more realistically, get it over with as quickly as you can and move on. Drop the price on your house until you get offers and push ahead with the divorce as quickly as possible. I would also tell her to use another room and lock yours. She could take legal action to access it, but doubt she would.

Yes I don’t have much legal footing.

The divorce is filed and she refuses to let me buy her out so I’ll have to wait until the house is sold.

didn’t appreciate coming home yesterday to find all my stuff moved again and bed sheets needed changing!

ill be putting a lock on my bedroom door today.

not sure why people can’t just stay in Their corner and be amicable. 🤷🏻‍♂️