Did you buy out on the family home?

[WanderingTheHills]

Hi,

Considering my options. Currently living in the family home with my teen daughter (with a teen son away at university). Two spare bedrooms at present and the house is bigger than we need.

However, I am struggling keeping on top of the housework due to my teen daughter being the most untidy person ever and that I work full time. Also, she has GCSE's coming up next summer so I am reluctant to move her.

Stbx is pushing for a sale as we have been separated 3 years now (he has another property, inherited).

I am only going to get 50% of the family home.

I am wondering if I should buy him out so we can stay, at least until my daughter is a bit older (I am also wondering if it would be a wise investment for me, and I could sell for retirement or something).

Not sure if I can afford it - as don't want to end up with no disposal income left - but my pension lump sum is probably worth more than half of what it would cost me to buy him out.

Has anyone else bought their family home of the other partner? How did you manage it?

I'm looking at smaller properties but selling costs etc. are putting me off.

Anyone?

Yes, i have but I was married so it was all agreed in the financial settlement. I should think a quick chat with a solicitor would be your first port of call and take it from there.

I am buying mine out. I can only afford to do so because I have some inheritance. Otherwise I couldn't afford the mortgage and to pay him off. I am very, very lucky. The house is a bit big for us but it buys us time to decide what to do (DD is 3), and we are well set up here. I do daydream about having a smaller home, less to worry about etc. A very first world problem, but I often feel overwhelmed. I would not have set my life up like this if I knew I was to be a single parent. He's basically fucked off and left me with everything, toddler, multiple pets, house needing significant maintenance as it's a period property etc.

I did. Like everything else, he took me to court for years then gave up. He accepted the five years I'd been paying the mortgage since separated as enough for me to buy him out, without actually giving him any cash. I'll never understand it tbh but I'd always paid the mortgage and I'd renovated and decorated it so it didn't feel like it was "his" when we stayed.

This is a good point. I was a bit worried about it not feeling 'mine' but everyone has said to me how very 'me' the house is and always has been, and they are right. He didn't put any mark on it. I did all the work, climbing up ladders, organising work and making decisions.

@HazelWicker I did have to get a new sofa and bed to be sure that he'd never touched anything 😂 but apart from that, it was "mine" and I struggle to even imagine him being here now.

I want a new bed!! Can't find one I like though...probably not wise I invest in a new sofa when DD is 3 😅

Yes, but we had enough resources between us for me to have the house & him to have cash. We went approx 60/40.
The kids were 5 & 2.
We agreed it between ourselves and I eventually got a consent order to formalise it, but that was a few years down the line.
I'm still here 15 years later.

I got a new sofa in 2009, ds2 was 3.
(And still have it - currently not replacing due to the dogs!).

Are you married?

If not - it’s 50/50 or however you set the shares up when you purchased.

If married - you need to get a consent order to formally agree the finances (signed by the court).

Either way a sale can be forced. My now DH agreed the sale of the FMH with his EW years before (with a date agreed when it would be sold). When the date came - she refused to sell. He took it back to court and the judge forced the sale. That was in the Feb and by the end of the June the sale had completed.

You need to engage a solicitor.

if the house is too big for your needs - personally I would sell.