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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Why do people judge?

5 replies

whatsthesenseinsharing · 21/12/2023 20:43

I used to have the lifestyle you seen via social media. Big house, two pets, two cars.. blah blah blah! Was I happy? Nope. Neither was he. We parted and I've since been crawling my way back through the trenches. Not to achieve the lifestyle I once had but to just be real and live within my means. I feel more grounded now that I ever did. I've had other relationships and have had another child. Not with the father but we're on good terms. Recently however I feel 'judged' by others. Probably my own feeling but I can't help shake it. This often comes from folks from where I used to be, the pleasant postcodes in town. I'm in social housing now and enjoying it. So are my kids. I'm just curious as to why people may judge? Or carry opinion? I've also came to understand people distance themselves from me too as my life has changed. It shouldn't bother me but when you have kids I'd hate for that judgement to be passed down.

OP posts:
Scarletttulips · 21/12/2023 20:48

unfortunately single mother have bad press - they should be known as fatherless households as mothers are left to pick up the pieces:

Can I ask, when you had the big house etc, how many single mothers did you know in council housing? Social life is usually based on affordability- people stop inviting you if they think you can’t afford it.

AmazingDayz · 21/12/2023 20:48

People judge everything

Pickles2023 · 22/12/2023 06:57

Ah you will never escape judgement..you can tell them till your blue in the face that they're wrong about their assumptions but they still wont believe your own experience of your own life as it doesnt fit their reality 😂

Youll be judged on what shoes you wear, parenting, job..
Pretty much every single thing in life.

whatsthesenseinsharing · 22/12/2023 13:59

I knew a fair amount of women coming from fatherless houses (that's such a more forgiving term!). Admired them so much.

And affordability is so true. Maybe I just don't represent my best self...?! If only it was affordability for sure.

I guess it shows some character in folks.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/12/2023 22:34

Did he keep the big house and the cars? Sounds like you lost a lot in your divorce.

It’s birds of a feather and all that. It’s not a hard and fast rule but you were in one tribe back then and now you’re in another one.

What contact are you having with the judgers?

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