Separation, Divorce and Finances

[TakingItDayByDay]

Hi everyone

I'm pretty confused about where I stand. I started divorce proceedings earlier this month. My husband is saying he is going to spend the money that's in his name so it's not part of the divorce. He has about £20k. Also, he has said he will just pay half of the bills and keep the rest of his wages to spend on himself. Is he able to do that?

We own our house, have no children and savings of around £280k including his £20k.

I currently do not work and do not receive benefits due to the savings.

He can spend it, although if he spends it on anything like a car etc that's still technically an asset so he won't get around it that way.

Technically he only owes half of any mortgage and bills while at the property, although non payment will screw both your credit ratings in the long run if its in both your names. If its in his name solely I'd let him crack on and ruin himself.

You're going to have to get a job though I'm afraid. He is under no obligation to keep you.

Why are you not working ? Is there a reason?
why do you expect him to keep paying for you ?

You should now pay for your living costs as a separated and single person. You should get a job if you are able to work. You won’t get any interim support if you can work.

There is not a lot you can do if he spends the savings on living costs. Even less if he uses it for joint living costs.

Thanks for your replies.

Yes, I am actively looking for work. I took a short break.

The £280k is in my name so if I'm understanding this right then I can also just spend as much as I can without him being able to do anything?

I know it doesn't make a difference with no fault divorces but he was the one that was unfaithful. Life is emotionally hard right now.

It's not straightforward. As you have savings then it's probably not unreasonable to expect you to pay your share on those first as any money from him would be based on need. You should also think about getting a job if you can. Not working isn't going to make a huge difference to your divorce settlement if you can work and it would be better to get that security as soon as possible.

As for the £20k, if he dissipates the assets it might not be unreasonable that he has this taken from his share. But if there is a big disparity in earnings then perhaps he wouldn't get much anyway so he might decide he's better off spending it before you can stop him.

Get proof if you can that he has said he is going to spend the money. When in mediation, you can bring it up. I'd recommend mediation rather than going through court, if you get a mediator who doesn't take any sh#t!