Mediation or Solicitor

Kwasi · 2023-12-19T20:58:22+00:00

Recently decided to separate but H keeps changing his mind. He instigated it but I think it is for the best. We have a DS 5. We have about £300k equity in two properties. He probably has close to another £100k in classic cars. I know he's unlikely to give me half of the equity unless he's forced, as he owned our previous house (on a mortgage) for about 10 years before we met and consideres them his assets. He also earns more than me. I am on the mortgage and deeds; have been for about 7 years..I am sure he will manage to hide the cars, which I am not overly concerned about. I just don't want to be fobbed off with £50k when the equity is so much more. Should I choose mediation or a solicitor. I have no idea how much either costs.

DustyLee123 · 19/12/2023 21:42

Solicitor. And don’t let him get away with the cars, it’s yours and your child’s future at stake.

Original poster

Kwasi · 19/12/2023 22:01

DustyLee123 · 19/12/2023 21:42

Solicitor. And don’t let him get away with the cars, it’s yours and your child’s future at stake.

Thank you. I guess he will just sell them to a mate for a fraction of the value.

My priority is for find a place for my son and I to live. I want to do everything properly so H doesn't have any cause to complain about me being an unfit mother or not giving DS a stable home.

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LemonTT · 19/12/2023 22:54

You can try both. The process is the same. Both of you declare assets and define your needs. There is a form for this. No need to pay a solicitor to do this. Then you get advice on what is fair legally. You can also then challenge any omissions or under estimates of assets or income. Or any over statement of outgoings.

Once you get an informed estimate of what you are entitled to you make offers and counter offers. If you cannot settle then it’s time for court. Then expertise in the form of solicitors or barristers is helpful.

A solicitor will charge you to sent out forms and send letters and log calls. Save that until you are certain you need it.

Original poster

Kwasi · 19/12/2023 23:17

LemonTT · 19/12/2023 22:54

You can try both. The process is the same. Both of you declare assets and define your needs. There is a form for this. No need to pay a solicitor to do this. Then you get advice on what is fair legally. You can also then challenge any omissions or under estimates of assets or income. Or any over statement of outgoings.

Once you get an informed estimate of what you are entitled to you make offers and counter offers. If you cannot settle then it’s time for court. Then expertise in the form of solicitors or barristers is helpful.

A solicitor will charge you to sent out forms and send letters and log calls. Save that until you are certain you need it.

Thank you. This is very informative.

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CrabbiesGingerBeer · 20/12/2023 03:20

Kwasi · 19/12/2023 22:01

Thank you. I guess he will just sell them to a mate for a fraction of the value.

My priority is for find a place for my son and I to live. I want to do everything properly so H doesn't have any cause to complain about me being an unfit mother or not giving DS a stable home.

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Then you put the actual cost before the court and ask to be compensated from the properties. If you have any way of getting your hands on documents about the cars (appraised value for insurance for example), you should do so.

Octavia64 · 20/12/2023 04:20

If you go to court they will expect you to have tried mediation first.

If you speak to a solicitor they will advise you on the whole process and what options you have - I paid for an hour's advice from one and it was very very useful as she talked me through the process, what would apply in my situation etc

In your shoes I would speak to a solicitor.

Original poster

Kwasi · 20/12/2023 10:30

Octavia64 · 20/12/2023 04:20

If you go to court they will expect you to have tried mediation first.

If you speak to a solicitor they will advise you on the whole process and what options you have - I paid for an hour's advice from one and it was very very useful as she talked me through the process, what would apply in my situation etc

In your shoes I would speak to a solicitor.

Thank you very much.

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Stuckandunhappy · 20/12/2023 13:08

I also paid for a two hour consultation with a solicitor (in addition to the 30 min free ones) and found it very useful. The solicitor also provided me the names of a number of good mediators who are also solicitors, some of whom also do child-led mediation which in our case could be useful.

Original poster

Kwasi · 20/12/2023 13:39

Stuckandunhappy · 20/12/2023 13:08

I also paid for a two hour consultation with a solicitor (in addition to the 30 min free ones) and found it very useful. The solicitor also provided me the names of a number of good mediators who are also solicitors, some of whom also do child-led mediation which in our case could be useful.

Thank you very much. I just want to be as prepared as possible. I don't currently earn a lot of money but I am only about a year away from doubling my income through qualifying as a bookkeeper.

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