Can anyone who's is getting or been divorced help me please?

[hiddy]

This is all new to me and I don't fully understand. I've asked my solicitor but still don't fully understand.

Divorcing abusive ex husband 🎉

I also want a 'clean break' order. He is a gambling addict and in a lot of debt. Also one day, I may inherit a large sum of money which I don't want him to be able to claim any of it.

We have no joint finances - everything is sorted. No joint bank accounts. Savings have already been split. No mortgage. No joint assets or loans. No joint Bank accounts. Nothing. He has loads of loans but non are in my name.

I am claiming legal aid as it has been domestic abuse.

So my solicitor has drafted up a letter to send to him along with asking him to fill out a 'schedule of outgoings'

He is going to refuse that. He is going to bombard me with emails thinking that I'm after his money (not that he has any) but I'm not.

He wanted me to file online but I didn't want too. It's going to really get to him that I'm using a solicitor and more so that they are asking for information from him.

The solicitor said they don't have to ask him for anything but then I must sign a disclaimer to say that they cannot advise me on a financial settlement.

He has no money and is in mountains of debt.

Advice please?

I'd save yourself the money on legal fees and file your own application online. It's literally a tick box exercise and takes 5 minutes and the court fee is about £500 I think. Spend your money on the lawyer to resolve the finances.

But doesn't legal aid cover all that?

This is what my solicitor has sent me. My head is an absolute mess and I can't really understand what they are saying to me.

If anyone can explain, I would be grateful.

Thanks

That first part is quite blurred, hopefully this will upload better

So basically they anticipate your fee being paid by legal aid but the legal aid agency may try to reclaim that money from you after.

You don't need to worry about the cost now but will probably have to pay it back later.

The financial settlement is the most important part of the divorce. the actual divorce is trivial.

I am fairly certain that you need the court to explicitly order that the debts in his name that were incurred during the marriage only belong to him. Your solicitor can advise on that, but you need to be clear that they exist, even if he hasn’t filled out paperwork.

I would use the solicitor purely to advise on and draft the financial consent order. It sounds like you may have to repay all or some of the legal aid. My solicitor's billing rate was £45 per 6 minutes. To send my ex a letter with the Form E attached would have been £300.

If you apply for the divorce online yourself you don't need to speak to your ex, everything is emailed and posted to him.

Please be sure that non of the debt is in your name or fixed as collateral against joint assets like the house.

The solicitor is just trying to make money. If you both agree clean break just get an order drafted and you’re done.

Divorce is in two parts, the main legal divorce and the financial settlement. The first part you can easily do online and there's no advantage to using a solicitor, you don't have to have any contact with the other party. The second part you either need a solicitor to draw up a clean break consent order saying all assets have been split and you both agree to this final split, or you both need solicitors and they can negotiate between you, the latter is very costly.

If any one reads this at the beginning of the process, at the bare minimum do the main divorce online to save

Under legal aid the fees charged are fixed and much lower than they would normally be.

If there is no spare money after the final settlement then you can agree to the Legal Aid people posting a charge against your property, payable at some point in the future.

Thank you all. I think it's clear to me now.

I won't gain anything financially from divorce or financial settlement so therefore I won't have anything to pay back.

As for debt, none of it is on my name. We have no joint bank accounts - that was shut down almost 2 years ago and he has taken out further loans since then. I did not live with him or have even as much as a joint utility bill with him as this time so I think I'm safe but I'm just waiting on my solicitor to confirm.

To be honest, my solicitors have been good. I may not need them for divorce but I do for the financial side of things even though there isn't anything.

They have drafted up my divorce application- I'll still be eligible for help to pay for the actual divorce too even though I'm using a solicitor.

I feel more in control with a solicitor. More like I've got people on my side which is what I need right now. He's now wanting to speak to social services about my son so I need all the support around me I can get

I'd it a joint child as in his and your child together or is it your child?

@WowOK he's our son - a joint child

So you were married but didn’t live together?

We rented together for 6 years. I left him 2 years ago, got my own place. We then tried again but lived separate but it hasn't worked out obviously.

I cut all financial ties with him almost 2 years ago when I originally left him

Have you bought your own place? Be careful if you have assets as he could potentially be legally entitled to them.
just get it over with asap I would say lols…good luck though.

My house is not bought. It's a housing association house. I've been very lucky to get it. It's all in my name

You will need to include finances as part of the divorce even if it's to say no money changes hands. The solicitor has got to do their job and ask for disclosure sonthey can check the position.
If you are happy with the clean break and the position as it is then instruct your solicitor on that basis and sign their documents.

My solicitor has got back in touch, I understand it more clearly now.

I'm just going to go along with what they say