Should I change solicitor ?

[Chickendipper2022]

My solicitor sent letters to my ex last week regarding finances and children’s arrangements, ex is abusive and i was so afraid of his reaction. I had asked her to tone down due to this but she said we need to be firm or he will continue to ignore me . His solicitor replied but only to complain about the letters , how they were written and they came across badly due to them sounding like her view . She has made mistakes recently and I am starting to lose confidence. Needless to say x did react badly and I am left very anxious as we are still living together , he refuses to move out . I feel like the letter from his solicitor was just to complain and this has obviously cost me money . What would you do ? I am so stressed by it all

every single letter my solicitor sent…. i saw before it was sent

You didn’t?

Yes I did . But I trusted her advice to be firm , I had already cut some of it out .

It wasn’t even that bad…. But he is abusive and over reacts

is she newly qualified?

Not at all .. senior level

I really wish I had changed my solicitor for a Child Arrangements Order. You need to have confidence in your solicitor. Perhaps go and see some others before making a decision.

It’s so frustrating. I feel like she is rushing everything and not really listening to what I want

If she doesn’t listen to you, change. It’s early days so easier to change now.

A lot of solicitors really don’t understand abusers, I’ve realised. Even when they say they’ve had training in certain aspects, they don’t really know the patterns and the triggers.

You might also want to get a non-molestation order and an occupation order for your protection.

If you dont feel comfortable switch. You might need mediation or court ultimately in any event to get an agreement with an unreasonable ex. It may not be worth spending a ton on solicitors letters if you dont get engagement from other side. So you may be better off deciding a limit on how long you will engage with that and when you will push things to mediation.

I can see your solicitors reasoning in that you won't get anywhere pussy footing around a bully but its your divorce ultimately so you have to be comfortable with what your solicitors are doing.

Be prepared though, from what i have seen, quite a few make errors and are not very good. Mine even went bust b4 divorce finalised.