Nowhere to go

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Just split from an emotionally and financially abusive partner after 10 years together. We have a mortgaged home together and two daughters who are 2 & 3.

We bought our home during the pandemic and I had to put forward most of the deposit since he was laid off. He paid the monthly mortgage payments while I was on maternity leave but I have always paid half of our bills from savings, mat pay and now my earnings since returning to work last summer. I also have to pay for everything for our daughters, he doesn't spend a penny on them. I asked for help covering the food shop a few weeks ago and he point blank refused and said it's my own fault for running out of money. I earn a part time wage and he makes me cover so many bills, my outgoings exceed the money that I make.

Anyway, now that we are splitting he demands that me and the girls move out of the house until it sells. I can't afford to privately rent on my own and this is my little girls home, I feel they have more right to be here than he does. We have no family to stay with, he does though.

Ideally I'd like to ask my dad for a loan to buy him out of the property, although this is a long shot. Even if my dad did agree to this loan, I couldn't afford the bills here alone. Has anyone been in this situation? Is there any help for single mums towards mortgage payments? I just want the best for my children and if I can keep them in their own home then that's the option I'd choose

If you can’t afford the mortgage and bills you’d be foolish to try to keep the house

Have you been in entitled to and plugged your numbers in to see what sort of help you might get ?

you’ll need to also think of full time work , help towards childcare, child maintenance

I think you should see a lawyer . He should be the one moving out as you are the primary carer and their needs come first .

Please tell me you have it in writing that you own more equity based on the deposit you paid out of your own pocket.

He refuses to support his kids and yet he lives under the same roof? What kind of fool did you marry ?

I don't think you should but him out as you can't afford the bills alone after as you said.

Being a primary carer doesn't legally mean the other party has to move though so she just has to stay like he is til it sells

@NosamUK he wasn't always like this, it started after I fell pregnant with our 2nd. Had I known he was such a selfish dimwit I wouldn't have chosen him to settle down with, but unfortunately he showed his true colours too late. I'm just happy to have my girls out of this.

I need to speak to our mortgage provider but im hoping that our early statements show how much came from my account for the deposit.

It's all just a shitty situation. I'll be moving to a rented property which will cost more each month than what the mortgage payment is. I can get help towards rental costs but not mortgage, it doesn't make sense.

I won't get enough out of the sale of the property to buy another property on my own either because he took out a £30,000 loan against the house to do an extension which he started 2 years ago and it is still just a hole in the ground - yet the money is all gone

He took out a loan ? Wait, I recall you I think, didn't you post a week ago with this story ? He is a builder right ? He is building it himself ?

@NosamUK yes that's me. I'd use the term 'building' very loosely because it's currently just a hole in the ground and has been for two years. I used that thread to see what rights I had and how to sell a property that isn't sellable, but I don't think it's doable. He's also refusing to do anymore to the extension to get the property to a sellable condition because he doesn't want me to 'profit' from it so we're just going to put it on the market and see where it goes, but he's refusing to leave until it's sold.. so I need to figure out how to leave and if there's any schemes out there that can help me x