Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Head to court to challenge spousal maintainencd

26 replies

divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 08:57

Basically. My monthly income is not enough to cover my expenses. I rent in the city I work in full time. Circumstances changed since I first received aliment in that I'm now earning more but my expenses are higher too.

Ex is refusing to increase my aliment. It's not court mandated so just an informal agreement I guess. His lawyers have told him he's not obliged to pay anything! So every month I'm eating into my savings - a savings account that was in my sole name - I know this forms part of the matrimonial pot so really only 50% was mine.

I guess my question is, what do I do? My lawyer did exclaim ' this is what will take things to court ' rather than the financial settlement. Which is so far from being agreed I think it will be months/years before that's agreed.

OP posts:
YaWeeFurryBastard · 06/12/2023 09:01

It’s unlikely he’ll be ordered to give you any spousal maintenance unless he’s an extremely high earner and/or you have very young/lots of/SEN children. More context is needed to give proper advice but I’d be very careful about going to court as you may end up awarded less than you’re currently getting.

Do you have a consent order and has the split of assets been agreed? Edit - I can see you’ve said this will be years off, why? And how much is in the pot for distribution?

WrongSwanson · 06/12/2023 09:03

Can you reduce your expenses?

Mia85 · 06/12/2023 09:16

Which country are you in? The term aliment suggests perhaps Scotland?
Given you have a lawyer I am sure they will give better advice than mumsnet!

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 09:29

Thanks all. Yes I've got a lawyer and we've communicated my needs to their side. He's got sufficient resources. I cannot reduce my expenses, I'm talking about modest living costs.

Financial settlement will be lengthy as we are very far apart in our views, I'd rather not say any more.

No kids to consider.

Once house is sold - currently on the market - then I'll be able to buy so my rent, at least, will disappear.

OP posts:
RancidRuby · 06/12/2023 09:34

How long were you married for? To be honest, if you don't have kids and assuming there isn't a drip feed to come, I don't understand why you would feel entitled to spousal maintenance?

strawberry2017 · 06/12/2023 09:35

In the nicest possible way- you're divorced, no kids so not his responsibility anymore.
Why should he give you more?

Riverstep · 06/12/2023 09:44

I don’t think enough information has been provided for anyone to be able to comment.

Mia85 · 06/12/2023 09:49

Which country are you in? There are significant legal differences in the way that divorce arrangements work. This doesn’t sound like England but most posters will start from the English system.

Are you just looking for support on a temporary basis until the house is sold?

LemonTT · 06/12/2023 09:59

The lack of spousal maintenance agreements in the UK is often more to do with the availability of benefits than income. Spousal maintenance is taken into account for means tested benefits. (Nb this is not the case for child maintenance).

The chances are that if your ex is a low to medium earner then the amount gained in spousal maintenance will just wipe out benefits. You are better off claiming benefits in most cases.

OP: the first thing you need to do is maximise your income in terms of salary or be benefits. Then you have to make a case as why your ex needs to support you. Do you claim benefits and why is your salary not enough?

It’s going to be very difficult to show in court why you need spousal support if you can work full time. That doesn’t mean you struggle with finances. It just means it’s not your ex’s problem.

Floopani · 06/12/2023 10:06

So you have no kids, and work a full time job? He shouldn't have to give you any spousal maintenance, that's ludicrous. If I were him, I'd stop paying this if it's just an informal arrangement and let you go to court to see how far you get.

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 10:34

Thanks.

Just to clarify. I work full time but my costs - admittedly these are short term until FMH is sold - exceed my income. That's surely not that unusual. Because I'm paying rent.

Not yet divorced and my knowledge of Scots law is that in this period there is an expectation that needs are met by the divorcing spouse, where he has the resources to do so, and in my case he does.

I wouldn't qualify for benefits.

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 06/12/2023 11:55

But it's not that you can't afford your expenses - you've got savings (half his, as you say) to cover your costs, which you say are modest and only temporary until the house is sold. I don't know Scottish law, but it seems very old fashioned for him to support you financially when you work full-time, have no kids, and earn enough to not qualify for any benefits. I can see why you're so far apart on your ideas of how the money should be divvied up. Were you married for a very long time? Who is paying the mortgage on the shared home?

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 06/12/2023 12:16

I'm sorry but I'm at a loss as to why you think your former partner should subsidise your income which there are no children involved?

The point of being separated is to everything is seperate.

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 12:20

No mortgage on the FMH. I'm paying rent he's living there rent free, so to speak.

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 06/12/2023 12:40

Could you live there instead if he doesn't want to contribute to your rent? If not, perhaps this will be factored into the settlement, that he had rent-free use of it while you didn't during this period. However if your full-time wage doesn't cover your living expenses for a single person if your set-up is modest as you describe. I still think your savings should cover the temporary shortfall though, especially as they're partially his technically, but your lawyer would be best placed to advise. Google confirms that the law is different in Scotland re. supporting each other during separation before divorce, but the court aspect seems to focus on when there's DC involved or when a spouse hasn't worked, or other extenuating circumstances that need special attention. This sounds more like you do have money to cover your bills, but you'd rather not use it.

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 12:58

Sadly I'm too far away, location wise, to live there. I moved to take up a FT position in another city.

I will use up my savings. I guess that is what's keeping me up at night. That once those are gone I'm stuck.

Hopefully the house will sell soon.

And yes, perhaps that's not understood by PP, that in Scotland it is recognised that one party of a marriage is responsible for financially supporting the other in this interim pre divorce phase. Which is exactly the point that going to court would determine.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
OneForTheRoadThen · 06/12/2023 13:30

divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 12:20

No mortgage on the FMH. I'm paying rent he's living there rent free, so to speak.

Is it possible he sees you using the joint savings to pay your rent as a contribution from him?

beetr00 · 06/12/2023 13:58

@divorceadviceneeded Could you apply for a variation?

Variation of Aliment

An award of aliment can be varied or even reduced to nil if there has been a material or significant change in circumstances since the date of award or agreement.

www.harpermacleod.co.uk/insights/spousal-support-or-aliment-during-divorce-scotland/

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 14:02

Thanks @beetr00 I'm not sure if that applies because the aliment he was paying - that he chose to voluntarily vary - was never recorded in any court.

I'll email my lawyer and ask.

OP posts:
THISISNOTCOOLLDN · 06/12/2023 16:07

One more reason many refuse the concept of marriage, WHY ARE YOU EXPECTING Another being to support you financially, not together at that? He needs a better lawyer if he is willingly paying you a single penny.

He enables you to have such expectations, it's not your fault clearly.

beetr00 · 06/12/2023 16:09

@THISISNOTCOOLLDN OP is in Scotland.

Both parties are legally required to pay aliment whilst divorcing.

Bettyscakes · 06/12/2023 16:13

I’m in Scotland and divorced and that’s totally wrong the person divorcing has to pay during this interim phase if the other has savings. Once those savings are gone then maybe but he is also entitled to half those savings. He does not need to pay you anything including spousal and in Scotland everything is split 50:50.

beetr00 · 06/12/2023 16:28

withdrawn

wildwestpioneer · 06/12/2023 16:36

If you've got no kids and you didn't give up work to support his career then you're highly unlikely to get any spousal maintenance at all. It doesn't get awarded very often in the uk and tends to only get offered to those who had to give up work due to children and when the other party is a very high earner. You have the ability to work, and you do so, so you need to support yourself. Tbh it sounds like you've done well to get anything up to now.

If you've not agreed a financial settlement then you could consider loving back into the family home, thus reducing your outgoings. Ask your solicitor to kick off the financial settlement now, the sooner it goes to court the sooner it gets resolved.

Original poster
divorceadviceneeded · 06/12/2023 16:58

Bettyscakes · 06/12/2023 16:13

I’m in Scotland and divorced and that’s totally wrong the person divorcing has to pay during this interim phase if the other has savings. Once those savings are gone then maybe but he is also entitled to half those savings. He does not need to pay you anything including spousal and in Scotland everything is split 50:50.

Edited

These savings built up in the marriage are needed to buy a new home each. I'm unlikely to get a mortgage at my age and income so I very much need my savings to fund the next stage of my life.

Anyway. They are almost used up.

I'll consider getting a 2nd job but no doubt he'll drop the £ support even further.

I do know what I'm entitled to, I had thought some on this board might have experience of going to court to pursue underpaid aliment.

OP posts: