Evidence of hidden money

[Busbygirl]

My stbxh has finally admitted hiding £30k and has given me evidence of this.
He says he did it as ‘it’s no more than I deserve’. He’s an unpleasant man child and that’s why we’re getting divorced.
We’re going to FDR soon.
How do the courts view this sort of thing? My solicitor says courts are unlikely to award me costs. I’ve spent ££££ chasing this. I was surprised to hear her say this tbh.
Is it worth me caving in at mediation as that’s what we’re trying in a last ditch attempt to solve things? I’ve just had enough and feel the 45% split he’s offered me is worth taking.
Of course my solicitor wants me to go to court but she’ll make a lot of money from it, so she would.
Any advice would be helpful.

Tbh I wouldn’t have spent time and money chasing that much

i know to you it feels a lot but that will soon be swallowed up In costs and I dont think a judge will really care that it wasnt declared upfront . Unlikely to change the outcome or overall split %

Thanks Millymolly that’s what I was wondering
Will persevere with mediation and roll over I think. It seems unfair but I suppose life is sometimes.

How awful for you @Busbygirl, I'd change lawyers. Hiding assets will be frowned upon if matters come before a judge so take some comfort in that. Why settle for less than 50%. What other arguments have you got going on?

Did they submit false information with their Form E? Are you looking for 50:50, and if so what is 5% in monetary terms? What did you have to do to get the hidden info?

The FDR judge can give his opinion but if your ex won’t settle then it’s on to final hearing and more costs.

He submitted false information with his form E, despite this the mediator says there’s no hope of claiming costs.
I’m looking for 50:50 and a pension sharing order which he just doesn’t want.
I told him I’d only mediate if he told the truth about the money he was hiding, that’s why he revealed it.
All children grown up so it’s just finances we can’t agree on.

My ex lied on his form e too and falsified documents (omitted £100k of pension and lied about a loan). I also was forced to get a non molestation order against him. He self represented whilst I had a solicitor. He dragged everything out and made it take years. Everyone on here says it's frowned upon by the courts, but we went all the way to the third court hearing and I can tell you the judges were not interested. They only wanted a resolution. He was never ordered to pay ANY costs at all - cost me £42k in total. I did end up getting almost £100k more than he would agree to in mediation but with the costs to me and the ongoing stress it has caused I'm not sure it was worth it.

Thanks Sophmum.
I’m unsure what to do as a final hearing will cost me so much, but his offer through mediation isn’t great.
It’s absolutely awful that trying to deceive the courts isn’t taken into account.

It's a massive decision. The thing is someone who is hell bent on not being fair will fight to the death. As my solicitor advised me, men like that never settle and wouldn't do unless forced, that's why we had to go all the way to the third hearing because every time we got anywhere close he would find a new thing to argue about - wanted to discuss how we split tesco club card vouchers and the £100 I made selling old toys on eBay

But, it's cost me a lot more than the cost of the divorce, the money is one thing but my life has been on hold for almost 4 years, my health has suffered massively due to the constant stress. I'm still stuck in the house, trying to exchange as we speak while he's moved on and got a house with his new partner while leaving all his crap in my home and thinks he can come here whenever he pleases. Makes me so mad but hopefully almost there.

Would I do it again? Probably no choice unless I accepted less for my children when I know the minute they turn 18 his responsibility will be over to them but I expect they'll be with me for many years after that!

Thanks again. I’ve spent more than you and we’ve not even had our FDR yet.
He’ll fight to the bitter end. He’s a LIP so is not bothered about my costs.
Hope your house sale goes smoothly. I can’t wait until it’s all over.

Can you dis-instruct your solicitor for now and become LIP too, with them advising you in the background until you need them back to represent you? This is what I am doing and I am so glad every day that I’m not paying for a solicitor to do the work I am doing now in preparation for the final hearing. It would have cost me a fortune for frankly very simple (but time consuming) things.

That’s a good idea. We’re so near the FDR now. I’ll keep her until then.
Thank you.

Hello OP, I do not live in UK so things may be a bit different. I felt really guilty about initiating divorce and he (suspected narcissist), made me feel even worse, so I kept caving in and accepting whatever. I too suspected that my, now ex, was hiding money from me but was advised not to pursue the matter further as the money he may be hiding was not too much, (not for them I guess but it was for me) and that I would loose a lot just paying lawyers. In the end I just accepted what he was telling me at face value, did not even ask him to sign the form E (Form F8 here). I just wanted to divorce him and get on with my life.

I am most definitely expecting something to come up, in the next few years. A hidden property, cash or something like that. But its ok, the important thing is that I am healthy, have three beautiful healthy kids and a good job, and I am free from him!

My experience is similar to @sophmum31

Ex hid all sorts as he thought he could pick and choose what he should disclose and what was in the marital pot. We ended up going the court route as solicitors and mediation failed. he was disabused of this notion but my goodness I had to be persistent on some things and others I just let go, including money I knew he held overseas. Honestly you put together this enormous bundle with evidence galore and no judge has time to look much beyond the position statements and summary sheets Es1 and Es2. They are hell bent on resolution and there is no room for anything that does not move things to completion. You quickly learn that some points are not worth making unless want to antagonise the judge. . FWIW I held out to final hearing as a LIP and got a much better outcome than anything offered in mediation, via offers or the FDR (ex refused to cooperate and im glad he did!). It nearly finished me off though and I'm still not really recovered from the stress of it all. Good luck and don't let yourself be bullied but pick your battles wisely.