Nesting and house ownership

[Howlongdoesittaketoheal]

So, it’s looking increasingly likely that separation/divorce is a strong possibility and I’m trying to get my head around how to protect DC as much as possible.

Im about to come into some money through inheritance. It’s enough to buy a flat in the town we live in. Or a small house further out.

I like the idea of nesting. DC stay here. Same routine. But me and their father come and go.

But how do we sort out who owns what? I’m in Wales so second home ramps up council tax. Would one of us have to come off joint mortgage and be the named person on new place?

How does it all work? Anyone know please?

Why are you divorcing? What problems in the relationship does nesting solve? You still have to compromise on joint lifestyle and living space, share the mental load, share the same approach to chores and domestic cleaning - and now you get to do it in two homes rather than just one. You still have to rely on each other financially. What happens when one or both of you meets somebody new and wants to bring them into each home? What happens when those new partners don’t like how intertwined you are? It will happen, even if you currently both swear you’ve no interest in another relationship.

If you can’t live harmoniously together now then what makes you so certain you can live harmoniously in two homes? Stability for children ultimately looks like having two happy, secure parents who parent them consistently and respect each other. Two parents who are sacrificing their own lives and futures for the sake of a family house and still struggle to co-parent isn’t that.

Thanks. You are right. I just can’t bear the thought of all the disruption for DC.

I'm thinking of doing this too. We are in England though. We were just going to have both properties in both names. I know we will have to pay stamp duty on the second property but that will be as cheap as possible.

I don’t think nesting is a great idea to be honest. It’s a great theory but the reality is likely to be much different.

Lets say for example ex meets someone else and decides after a year of nesting that he is moving in with her. You are then left with a property that you don’t need anymore.

What caused you to split and how old are the kids?