Preparing for separation

[LoisLanyard]

For a long list of reasons I’ve decided that I want to separate and then divorce my husband. We have a house and 2 teenage kids. Should I speak to a legal or financial person before saying anything to my husband? He comes from a wealthy background with various barristers and solicitors in his family, and I don’t. I’m worried that I will find myself screwed over and homeless if his family goes into legal overdrive as soon as I say anything. Perhaps I’m being paranoid but I am quite worried.

Definitely speak to a solicitor and get everything in place first. You’ll have proper advice and your H and his family can’t try to scare you with legal sounding misinformation.

Gather up all the paperwork about finances that you can now, and your solicitor will be able to give you a realistic idea about what a fair settlement will
look like.

Yes, advice first.

One piece of advice I'd pass on is look up who is local to you that specialises in family law. Contact them. Even if you don't use them, the fact that you've been in touch makes them 'conflicted' and your husband can't then engage them.

One of the worst things about divorce can be having your STBXH try to terrify you into agreeing to stuff.

Mine earns £100k and is pleading poverty and going on about how he’s ’entitled’ to so much. He’s been trying to scare me into making an offer. My solicitor is pretty clear that fair is likely to look very, very different to what he claims.

I’ve just seen his voluntary form E disclosure and let’s just say, he is in an even stronger financial position than I thought he was. Whereas I have much less and all the financial responsibility.

I can’t really afford my solicitor. But I really really cannot afford not to have her involved. He very clearly has been trying to screw me over and I can’t challenge that without someone who knows what they’re doing.

Thank you all, I was worried I was being over the top by thinking I should get advice. I should have done this 10 years ago but as I can’t go back in time, I am just repeatedly telling myself that pain now will save me another 10 years of misery!