Urgent regarding child

[kalsgirl237]

Hi guys- so I left my husband a few days ago with my 4 year old child (I'm also pregnant) he took her the first night and didn't return her till the next morning and has started doing that ever day / he gives him back to me during day at 11am and then picks him back up with an excuse at 4/5pm and is refusing to return him till the next day
Please can someone advise me
I can't cope, I'm pregnant and this has ruined my mental health
I contacted 101 who said they can't do much as he has PR as do I
I have to get a court arrangement
Not sure what to do 😢😢😢💔

I'm sorry, I can't help. I'm one of the childless mners.

But, I do know you need to see a solicitor asap. A lot offer free initial consultation.

Good luck

What you have been told is correct. You need to get the court order sorted.

He is trying to establish that he is the custodial parent. Don’t let him in.

Do you feel he is a risk to them? Are there 2 kids a him and her? Do you have one of them back?

As you have already been told, you need a court order.
Contact women's aid as well for help.
He is doing this in order to reduce his liability for CM rather than thinking about the best interests of his child, which is shit parenting but not surprising.
Can you go snd stay somewhere else so that he can't just turn up and take the child?

Yes. You need legal help, but he is as entitled to have your child as much as you are.

Hello. When he comes to collect the child just lock and don’t answer the door? Make sure you are in a safe situation so that he can’t take the child until there is a court order?
If the child is sleeping at his home every night then the child lives with him. Is this what you would like for the future?
If you don’t give him the child, be aware this will make him angry and when you do he will likely keep the child and not return them. Therefore I would suggest you don’t give him the child at all until court. Allow regular video calls (every other day at a set time agreed by you both seems reasonable).
At court explain you are more than happy to share custody but as he was repeatedly keeping the child you feared he wouldn’t give them back.

Neither parent 'owns' a child, you have a child with someone they are both a parent unless legally ordered otherwise

Yes seek legal advice

Exactly. All this 'how dare he keep your child, make sure you keep your child from him' ?!

Why does he return the child to you during the day? Is it so that he can go to work?

Is your child distressed? Are they safe with their dad?

If your child is not distressed and you're happy that they're safe, tbh I'd start being out at 11am when he comes to return them in the morning so he can't go to work. If he's working and this is about CM, hopefully he'll stop playing silly buggers.

If this is not the case, then I'd be out when he comes so he can't take the child.

It really depends on why he's taking the child. Yes, neither parent "owns" a child, but arrangements for contact between parents should be agreed (if not court-ordered), clearly communicated, predictable and child-centred and not used as a means of frightening or controlling the other parent.