Disagreement about solicitors and property

[Minnie1980]

My husband and I are about to start divorce proceedings but unfortunately, we're already disagreeing about how to go about it! I'm keen to do a DIY divorce as we don't have any debt, children, or anything complicated to divide and we're fairly amicable. He however, is keen to do everything 'properly' and seems afraid of not being legally 'protected'. He earns more than double my salary, so money isn't as much of a concern for him as it is for me going forward, and is always keen to pay for others to do things for him rather than do it himself.

His biggest concern seems to be about our house. I would like him to buy me out ASAP (before we're legally divorced) so that I can live independently but he's worried that I might change my mind later on about the amount I've agreed with him. I understand this concern (though have no desire to make anything contentious), but I really don't want to start involving solicitors, especially this early on.

The amount agreed for the house would obviously be legal and in writing (and 50:50) but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on a) convincing him that we're quite capable of filling in paperwork ourselves for far less money, and b) any way to reassure him that the house settlement would be legal and binding?
Thanks so much.

I believe you apply for a document called a "consent order" which finalises all financial arrangements.

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/apply-for-consent-order

Thank you, the problem is that I don’t think you can apply for a consent order until 26 weeks after you put your initial divorce application in, and that means staying living in the house together for at least another 6 months. Whilst we’re capable of getting on much of the time, this is really not ideal! Won’t go into a big long story but my mental health is really suffering and I need to start moving on asap.

You could consider family mediation. You can have it all agreed in a memorandum of understanding, ready to ask a solicitor to put into a consent order, but ultimately, the deadlines are the deadlines.

Unless he is happy to proceed with the MoU only (which is however not a legal document but can be relied on).

This might also help convince him that you guys can do it yourself - and will help you do it yourself whilst spending very little.
https://iamlip.com/
https://iamlip.com/home/
There is a lot of free information/guides that can help you guys navigate the divorce in the best way for you guys.
Solicitors cost way too much, it is actually insane. I couldn't afford to keep one so I used this. It's better to keep the money between you two than in the pockets of a solicitor which will happen much faster than you think.
Remember to think about and prioritise yourself when you can. Your mental and physical health is important xx
Hope this can help

Go to links above in MN header to ADVICE NOW

Can't he move out in advance of buying you out? Or in the alternative can you move out?

I do understand his wish to get advice actually.

Thank you, I do agree, I think I’m just concerned that he doesn’t seem to want advice, he wants everything dealt with by solicitors, which I can see escalating into huge unnecessary costs. Perhaps we can get a free hour somewhere and answer some questions at least.

As for moving out, he’s completely unwilling to leave the house and I feel like if either of us left, we’d have to pay for both the marital home and the second home which again, seems like a lot of money (and I wouldn’t be able to pay for that..)