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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Co-parenting subtopic

36 replies

ElliePhant28 · 17/11/2023 13:42

I'm trying to get mumsnet to add this to the site because there comes a point in divorce/separation where it's not about the divorce any longer.

Co-parenting and juggling the negotiations that go with it are difficult. It's a place to share tips because this goes on for a few decades. Does anybody agree it's a good idea?

OP posts:
ColourByNumbers88 · 02/03/2024 08:27

@AnnoyinglyOptimistic precisely that's why a co-parenting subtopic would work well. There's so much to navigate.

eractually · 02/03/2024 08:31

Great idea. I'm really surprised there isn't one already.

helplesshopeless · 02/03/2024 08:42

Great idea. I've mistakenly posted in step-parenting before in the hope of finding advice from Co-parenting people and have been shot down for it!

AnnoyinglyOptimistic · 02/03/2024 09:10

ColourByNumbers88 · 02/03/2024 08:27

@AnnoyinglyOptimistic precisely that's why a co-parenting subtopic would work well. There's so much to navigate.

I'm faced with such a specific set of circumstances too that I refuse to believe I'm the first person ever to deal with, but searches for key words applicable to the situation are throwing up so many random results that I think I need to bite the bullet and start a thread asking if anyone has dealt with/is dealing with similar.

I don't necessarily need advice off people who think they would act in a certain way if they were in a similar situation as I've explored that with friends/family/colleagues, I just wish there was a way of finding someone who HAS acted a certain way and how it worked out for them.

BigCCC · 02/03/2024 19:05

Hello all, I've been divorced for seven years and am just about to enter mediation to get us through another seven. Co-parenting is very difficult and I'd really welcome a topic dedicated to it. My older child is disabled and my younger has learning difficulties. This has not prevented the process from being extremely fraught, and sometimes weaponised almost as a continuation of divorce. It would be great to hear some tips and positive approaches.

Magmum75 · 03/03/2024 21:24

In support of a sub-thread too.

Elephantswillnever · 03/03/2024 21:28

peacocksuite · 19/11/2023 11:48

Agree. I'm still getting divorced but given how dreadful it has been so far I imagine the coparenting bit is going to be a nightmare.

I wouldn't post any topics like that on aibu as you always get a pile on from people who are not in that situation and just want an opportunity to be smug and virtue signal about how well they'd behave if it was them. So ur would be nice to have a collection of people who are going through the same.

Whilst the divorce was pretty acrimonious my ex has actually really stepped up and does 50/50 with me, costs and childcare, not being a dick most of the time so that's nice.

Fingers crossed for you.

single50 · 04/03/2024 09:42

@Elephantswillnever - to reiterate what peacock says - my ex (while still a dick) is much less of a dick when co-parenting than through the split. I think it depends on the person - he is quite controlling, which was a nightmare when living with him but another aspect of this type of personality is that he takes full responsibility for his role as a co-parent.

BooksAndHooks · 17/03/2024 08:04

Yes that’s the topic I’ve just been searching for. It is definitely needed.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 18/03/2024 06:20

Would be a great sub topic. XH doesn't do anything beyond a small amount of day to day stuff when they're with him. Everything else is left up to me. He keeps saying he wants to be involved, how unfair it is he's not involved, then ignoring any of my attempts to involve him. He says nasty things about me to the kids. Blames me, gets angry, says nasty things about me to the kid. Same old shit as during our marriage. We're still in the divorce bit. I wouldn't describe what we have as co-parenting though. Its more Disney Dad and me caring the load.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/03/2024 06:43

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 18/03/2024 06:20

Would be a great sub topic. XH doesn't do anything beyond a small amount of day to day stuff when they're with him. Everything else is left up to me. He keeps saying he wants to be involved, how unfair it is he's not involved, then ignoring any of my attempts to involve him. He says nasty things about me to the kids. Blames me, gets angry, says nasty things about me to the kid. Same old shit as during our marriage. We're still in the divorce bit. I wouldn't describe what we have as co-parenting though. Its more Disney Dad and me caring the load.

He says he wants to be involved then ignores my attempts to involve him

I could have written that!! They want to be lazy but blame us

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