How do these arrangements sound?

[Goinoutalone]

I would like to start by adding we are very amicable and would love to co parent as successfully as possible.
We live within a 5min drive of each other also.
So with the children we want 50/50
we figure the best arrangement is
Every week
Mon and Tues night with Dad
Wed and Thurs with mum
however due to work hours mum drops them to school on a Tues morning regardless and dad drops them on a Friday (I know that may sound complicated but I feel it’s a better option than having alternate nights as such)
then the weekend will be Fri -Sunday late night with alternate parents so essentially
week 1- sun night through to weds morn with dad, weds night through to Fri morning with mum, back to dad til Sunday.
week 2- sun night through to weds morn with dad, weds night through to Sunday with mum
My brain is a mess right now, please be kind, how does this sound. We feel this my be the best option for our family.

I would try to work out using a biweekly or longer cycle. Expressing in weeks is making it more complex. The pattern will emerge if you use a longer time period. You should also decide if you want to be rigid about adherence or flexible. This depends on the type of people you are.

Court told us blocks of time at each home was better for the dc than lots of swapping during the week... Having 1 main home has been shown to be better for dc. Sadly for us exh's was the main place until dc chose otherwise at 12 and 14. They moved here full time.

That sounds stressful for the DC, things like uniform / pe kits / uniforms for clubs might be a nightmare. Is week on week off not an option? It'll be harder for them to feel at home anywhere being somewhere new every few days.

My kids were secondary but an arrangement like that worked for us. It sounds like you are both focussed on the kids so as long as you keep it open should it not be working for the kids, go for it. Just be prepared for a lot of popping back and forth houses when they forget stuff!

Can mum not have them mon/tues and dad wed/thur if you are doing the school runs then anyway?
Otherwise it looks like what was suggested to us during mediation and hoping to implement after Christmas

@justalittlesnoel we have plenty of all uniform for school to share between households so that’s sorted, no other uniforms for clubs etc. my DD does guitar on a weds but that will stay at mine In this case as I will have them every weds.
I hear what you’re saying about feeling at home though, that’s my main worry

@Shewhobecamethesun it really wouldn’t be any different as I would still need to drop dh to drop on Monday morning and he needs me to drop on a Thurs too…it’s either or. He drops Mon, weds and Fri and I drop on Tues and Thurs

Maybe you might need to both consider changing working hours or looking at breakfast clubs etc. I think you've really got to look at this long term, not what suits now but what will work in 5 or even 10years time (depending on age if dc), possibly when each of you have different jobs, remarried etc.

I have a friend who did exactly this pattern. On paper it sounds like a reasonable and good split. In practice she finds it a night mare, despite it seeming like they are "blocks", they all feel like they are forever all over the place. After school clubs makes hers a bit harder, as sometimes the alternative parent will want to go (eg to watch a game).

She did it for about a year - giving it time to settle in and feel like a routine but come half terms and school holidays things quickly became messed up because of changes over random days.

Since the start of September they have now been doing alternate weeks including the weekend (so Monday through to Sunday with Sunday being the change over day - either morning or afternoon depending on plans). They are also amicable so then each week that it isn't the mum or dads week, they take the children for dinner once a week just so they can "check in" and see them that week so it doesn't feel like a whole week without seeing them.

This seems to be working much better for her, and then they have decided to try and stick to it for the big school holidays and the shorter half terms just make ad hoc arrangements depending on their work.

Unfortunately we cannot change working hours as that is us using flexible working in order to have one of us drop off. No breakfast clubs available

I would reapply for a change in flexible working due to change in circumstances