Would you be represented by a solicitor?

[FatLovableElf]

My Dad will pay for a solicitor for me. My husband earns £68,000 and has £100,000 in inheritance money in his bank, I am not going after that, I don't see it as mine. I earn £31,000.

He has agreed to give me 50% of the equity plus £15,000 to decorate and furnish the house. He has also agreed to equalise our pensions. He will keep the house and give me my part of the equity out of his inheritance.

My dad thinks I should instruct a solicitor to represent me and do the full financial disclosure with them because from what I have told him about my STBX and money he doesn't trust him.

If I go through a solicitor he will also have to go through a solicitor and that will also come out of his inheritance which will make everything quite tight on his side for the sake of....well I'm not sure how much but I can't imagine the deal being that much different to what we have already agreed.

I guess I would like the legal advice but without them representing me. Is that possible?

When I got a solicitor for my divorce she gave me an hour consultation and a written report on what she thought i was entitled to. Cost about £300 from what I remember. I then could have gone to another solicitor, or tried to work it out with ex h. There was no obligation to stay with her. In fact as long as I paid for the work she did, I could have dropped her at any time.

Yes of course you can.

Do you or your dad believe that he has other assets or savings that you don’t know about?

I’d be mostly concerned about you managing on £31k. I would get advice on this, personally.

SIL didn't get legal advice and then got shafted on the pension end of things, but no lump sum settlement in recompense.

So yeah, any reason to distrust STBXH, at least get some guidance from a solicitor.

I've had bits of advice from solicitors through those free consultations that you can have. I happy to use one of them.

@Mumof3confused well the equity I should get is about £85,000. And child maintenance will be dependent on his income and I've also worked out I can claim UC so I think I should be fine. Of course he will be much better off than me.

Definitely definitely get a solicitor without doubt.
Not only is there a large difference between your earnings and his but you need advice about the pension. Some pension schemes are quite complex and require specialist advice. Good luck 💐

I'm definitely using a solicitor, I think it would be silly not to. I am working out if I need the solicitor to represent me or not as in act on my behalf and request the full financial disclosure and then come up with a settlement and ask him to agree. I'm not sure if I need all that.

I know I need them for advice and I know I need them for the final stages to draw it up so that it's all legal.

That decision is yours really, you know your husband and hopefully you can trust him to stand by his words.
My husband was a difficult and violent man and refused to give full financial disclosure therefore I had no choice but to engage a solicitor.
Otherwise I would have ended up with nothing, so solicitor's charges were money well spent.

I think legal advice is useful but how much you rely on solicitors might well depend on whether there are children.

Children on the one hand will create additional need if one parent is to be the primary carer. On the other, it might well mean that in actual fact the difference in incomes only exists gross and not net also taking into account benefits.

I don't know if I'm doing this the wrong way but what I've decided to do (since DH isn't arguing so far) is this.

Applying and doing the actual divorce - myself.
Gathering of financial documents and filling in of Form E - myself. Gave DH a blank form to fill out.
Once 20 weeks are up I expect us to give each other a copy of the Form E.
That is when I pay a solicitor to look at both our forms and tells me what is fair, and what I should ask for (not necessarily the same thing).
Then I discuss with DH. If we can't agree then it goes to mediation (which is cheaper).
If mediation does not work then it's solicitors and court.

Get the Form Es filled in and swapped.

We've got two children by the way.

Yeah that seems like a sensible plan @Pixiedust1234

Definitely get legal advice as a starting point. As someone else mentioned you can have a initial advice meeting for little or no charge. All couples have to attend mediation these days (with a few exceptions). If you can come up with a settlement you both agree is fair the solicitor can draw up the consent order and have it approved by the Court. Job done
The big legal bills happen where there is no agreement and especially if one party wont engage with the proceedings- this results in multiple hearings and escalating legal costs.

If pension are involved it can get complicated so would get a solicitor to advise

Until recently I worked in the Family Court dealing with these types of cases. Just be sure you get a decent solicitor

What is your plan for housing? I wouldn’t presume you’ll be entitled to any UC. Anything over £16k would push you past the limit. However, one exemption is to have the capital disregarded for 6 months if you will be purchasing a new property, this will be up to a decision maker depending on the evidence you provide

His offer to equalise the pensions is one less thing to worry about if there is enough other assets and equity to meet needs. You won’t get better than pension equalisation.

Generally having a lower income means you need a bigger share of the assets. However your salary won’t be your income if you are entitled to benefits. When it comes down to take home pay the difference might not be significant.

For most people establishing assets, income and expenditure and pensions isn’t that hard. It is relatively easy for both of you to find out how much you can borrow. These are usually known facts unless he has the ability to hid significant amounts of money.

It’s easy enough to do a lot of this stuff before getting legal input.

If you have two children that is a major factor. Who will they live with most of the time? Who gave up work to look after them? Did your career suffer? You should be entitled to more than 50% if you need more to house the children and you can't afford on your salary.

@indianwoman I can afford an OK house with what we have agreed.

Kids will be with him EOW plus one week night every week.

I have just been through something very similar.
My mother insisted I had a solicitor and did a Form-E.

If you are happy taking what you are happy taking, then I would highly recommend not using a solicitor.

You could certainly get an hours advice session with a solicitor. Or for when you need the financial order drafted up.

I found that as my ex husband and I were in agreement in terms of our financials, it was mostly pointless using my solicitor. I stopped using them half way through my divorce and was easily able to manage the rest myself.

If you feel you need a solicitor, do use one as it can help. But a lot of it can be done by yourself too for free. Also solicitors fees are so incredibly high that it’s best to keep an eye on how much you’re willing to spend on one. See if this might be able to help give you some guidance too -
http://iamlip.com/
http://iamlip.com/home/
I know others who have used it whilst having a solicitor and it made their lives easier (I didn’t really have a choice - i had to do it myself but this really helped)
maybe try reading through some of these guides to get an idea of what to do so you can represent yourself how you want to with all the information you’ll need.
this guide might be especially helpful for you - https://iamlip.com/help-guides/the-court-process-of-dividing-your-marital-assets-finances-and-pensions/