Settling in to a new home

[AltheaVestr1t]

I move into my new rental on Sunday. It's about 25% of the size of the family home, which STBXH is staying in (the split was my idea and he would never leave).

It's a lovely cozy furnished house, but it will be unfamiliar. I will have DD 50% of the time, but for the rest of the time it will be just me. I moved straight in with STBXH after Uni and have NEVER lived alone. I am apprehensive.

Please send me your positive stories and tips for settling in to your new single life in a new home!

I found it really hard, I think planning this is a really good idea though. Make your home really nice and do things in it, invite friends over, have a housewarming and invite neighbours so you start to get to know them (and maybe a useful resource if you ever need help). Try to enjoy the differences from your old life. Good luck 💐

Enjoy the freedom of doing exactly what you want. Pjs on straight after I get home from work. Tidy / not tidy. Clean/ don't clean. You decide. Cook or just a snack. Again, your choice.
It'll be a bit odd at first and take some getting used to but I love it now.

Yes, a chance to live life on your terms!

I agree with having some kind of house warming party. It worked for me.

Choose some things to make your new home your sanctuary - some soft cushions, or a lamp, or maybe some nice candles or a throw for the sofa. And treat yourself to some nice food (maybe take-away, maybe a nice ready-meal) and some spoily bath/shower gels...

It's all about making your new life your best life, it will feel strange at first, especially the days without DD, but you can gradually build your "me time" to include all the things you want to do but don't have time for; seeing friends, relaxing, reading, watching films and so on.

I also gave myself a bit of a make-over, new haircut and some new clothes, even a new perfume, and that all helped me to "reinvent" myself a bit.

I have found I'm a much better mum now I have a little time for myself as well :)

I moved into a place that was much smaller. I love it. The kids love it. Also 50:50 shared care

Thank you for these tips! I have been working on the self care already, I have some new skincare and I've dyed my hair etc. I'm going to have to make sure I don't live on toast, cheese and chocolate when DD isn't around. I think the free time is what's bothering me, what on earth am I going to do with myself?! Time for some new hobbies, I think!

Making plans with friends and inviting them round for a housewarming is a great idea, thank you. I will arrange this tomorrow, that will give me something to look forward to.

I loved it when ds & I moved into our new home, just to be able to sit & watch what we wanted at night without someone else sulking because he wanted to watch sci fi all night. I hadn't done any reading in bed for years because exh hated me reading, I bought a massive pile of new books & read every night. Although money was tight, ds & I always had a treat/movie night on the Fridays he was with me, we had £1.50 pizzas & garlic bread from Farmfoods, crisps & sweets from the Poundshop, so for less than £10 we had a lovely night at least once a week. Being on your own is what you make it, work hard at being happy.

A lovely cozy furnished house sounds lovely and awesome!
Take care of your daughter, and take care of yourself.
Your home will soon be HOME!

I wish you all the best!

I would go with lots of different fabrics and textures.

Make it warm and cosy.

Hang your pictures up, buy things you live, scour the secondhand market for things that are different.

You can live anyway you like now and you’ll soon fill your time.

Honestly op, its highly likely you will LOVE it! I had the same experience, much smaller house and DC only half the time…but it means my house is clean and tidy, the food I buy is there when I fancy it, I can watch what I want, listen to whichever radio station I choose, eat crackers andcheese in bed without anyone moaning, and spend my money without having to justify it to anyone else.
It CAN be lonely, but nit often, and though its a bit of a cliche, I rediscovered who I am, and that actually I quite like her. 😄

Also, the kids love it because I am no longer the grumpy, resentful bored woman I was with exh! We’re all much happier.

If I lived in my own o would make the bed extra nice every day. So I could mail when I came home.

When I moved quite a bit as a 20 something renter, I used to have a box of 'home' that I'd unpack before anything else. It had assorted framed photos etc in and putting them out always felt like I was making a place mine, even if they were put on top of a load of boxes to start with.
Now as a 40 something living alone, I'd say really embrace that all the decisions are yours. No compromise on curtains or wall colour or what's on the TV. When it's just you there it can be exactly as you like. New hobbies would be a great idea, so you have something fun to look forwards to on the days your DD isn't there. Something you always thought god I'd love to do that if I had the time.

I’ve moved into a much smaller house post separation having previously never lived on my own. I love it when my kids are here, I love it when my kids are not here. It’s clean and tidy with no-one to complain about my choice of cushions. It did take a while for my kids to get used to it but now my son likes living in a smaller house as his room is closer to the main living areas.

Thanks so much for the positive wishes, everyone! I love the idea of Friday movie nights @Nat6999 and I'll definitely be doing that! The new house has TVs in the bedrooms, which DD is particularly taken with, so it will be movies in bed!
Tomorrow is the big day, I'm really looking forward to it. It has occurred to me that STBXH will have very many more jobs to do when running his own house and I will have very many less, which is a pleasing thought!

Reach out into your community when it feels right and get to know your neighbours. Have friends over, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Sending you happy new home good vibes ♥️